some observations: 

1. my social circle in the past was really small. it was just classmates and some cca people.

2. another reason why i didn't enjoy my past experiences in school was probably because they kept telling us who to be. values, civics lessons. i tried to live up my society's ideal of a person. it didn't work out. right now i feel much more comfortable exploring for myself who people actually are and how they grow up.

3. i've been quite self-absorbed the past few weeks. and insecure. less so now i think.

4. i'm really tired now.

5. i like samba.

6. i'm gonna get a c or d for contract cos my prof says most of us are hovering around there, and i'm definitely not outstandingly good, or even good, so i'm probably getting a c or d. please let it not be worse. prof said there will be 1 or 2 Fs but i can't tell if she was playing an evil prank or not. she was smiling a satisfied smile when she said that.

7. i really feel like some lessons deaden my soul and my emotions. samba brings it all back. i'm probably intellectually lazy (a term i picked up from a teacher back in school). but it doesn't change anything. i still have to do my work, and get a decent grade.

8. love is not romance, nor perpetual happiness. love is choosing to be there for the person when the person needs you, and wants to talk to you. (i mean all sorts of love, for friends and family, and mr lovely.)