Helped my mum out yesterday and while doing stuff I poured out all the gossip and woes I had about school to her. Mum was a good listener. At the end of the day I felt quite depressed that all my woes had been laid out, and vaguely disoriented-- what am I doing in university? -Sigh-
Mum's advice was to ignore all these people and just focus on my studies. She said, just study everyday. On first hearing I thought, that would be a terrible life. But it was probably the way she phrased it. After a while I realized it made sense, because at night I felt my old self coming back to me-- so what if (some) people are horrible and life doesn't go the way I'd like it to? I'm still me and I'll go through life the way I want it to be. I need to stop being sensitive about what people think of me.
And on the other hand I need to stop having ideas about using people as a means to my own ends. e.g. there's a law senior in my cca whom I'm not close to, but I shouldn't make friends because I want notes. People make friends because... they make friends. I'll make my own notes.
Commenced reading for next semester today at 12 noon, after a while of burying my head in the sofa and in my pillow and telling myself that I should rest my brain before reading. Yeah right! -rolls eyes at self- But at least I've started. (And then now I'm distracted with my blog after about 20 minutes).