I was reading Robert Pattinson's interview in the Life paper today and found myself agreeing fully with him. (of all people!) He says that he spent 4 years working so hard on the movie that he feels like he's stuck at 22. (I suppose he's 26 now? Old.) In some ways, I feel like that too. I must have mentioned this somewhere in my blog before, but I'll say it again, that I feel that I was so focused on doing homework and studying that I wasn't really living life.I kind of regret it but there's no point regretting such things. I could have been friendlier and probably forged closer bonds with my classmates. In JC. Then again I was being very fixated with A levels as everyone seemed to be telling me to be.
Oh well, I'm glad I realized this the moment I stepped out of JC. Another thing in JC which was hovering about me everyday was the consciousness that there were boys in my immediate surroundings. Yes, I'll admit it now. Haha. It's takes a lot of time to get used to that fact, for someone who comes out of a girls' school. I think I only got used to that fact in year 2.
So, exam pressure + being awkward around guys = awkward silent me.
Right now I still don't feel 19. At 19 you read about some people setting up their own business and whatnot. For me I still don't know what I want to do in life. Probably be a lawyer. And then? Am I going to stay a lawyer or am I going to pursue something else? I'm not focusing very much on what's beyond law school now. I remember a friend of mine asking me if I was excited at the thought of becoming a lawyer, and this is the reply I gave, 'I don't know, I'll focus on law school first'. Anyway, I think my mental age is about 16 or 17 right now. I guess this is what my aunt means when she insists that I have childish eyes, and you know what they say, that eyes are the windows to one's soul.
On the other hand though, my uncle says I have fierce eyes that I can use to stare down my opponent in a debate.
*shrugs* back to studying. For my exams. Which start in 5 days.