I learnt that when things seem okay, the truth is that it's most likely not okay! My brain seriously plays tricks on itself. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh x 10000. I walked out of tort paper thinking that at least my first paper wasn't too bad, and that I didn't waste my revision after all. And I was actually beaming and declaring my love for the prof to my friend (Don't get me wrong, he is really the nicest prof on earth, but nothing of that sneaky sort going on in your head right now). But my moment of triumph was short-lived. I was lulled into a false sense of security during the paper.
I REALIZED I MISSED OUT 2 ISSUES
WHAT A DISASTER
\SOBS.
I will soon drown my sorrows in sleep. But for half an hour or so.  Need to do contract and make sure it's not another disaster. I almost feel like I let down my prof. He really did try to teach this lazy and stubborn person called Marsha. My only consolation now is that when the paper ended, I saw him looking upon the class with the most fatherly expression on his face. I shall remember that. It's very rare that you sense kindness radiating out of somebody, even if you aren't very close to that somebody. I've barely spoken to my prof but I can still sense this angelic kindness projecting out of him. And if I get a C or something, it shall be my own fault. It is my fault anyway.

And I also think that when things are really not okay, I shouldn't push it aside and sulk at other people. And complain that it's not fair. Because what really transpired is my own doing. For example you might know of my grudge against a certain prof for being strict. But I suddenly think she is ultra-smart and reading her comments in depth might be a better thing to do than to leave it aside. Nobody owes me a good grade. I can even extrapolate this and say that when I go out and work, nobody owes me my salary.

Life lesson learnt after a damn screwed up paper.

Oh goodnight, I need some sleep to clear my brain.

"Whatever picture people paint their life as, rest assured that any one life in all its parts is beautiful and dark, hopeful and weary, a blessing and an everyday battle. Focus on the good parts of your life and be grateful for your own set of problems because if you knew what everyone else was going through, you would probably still choose your own life. Don’t compare yourself to anyone and while we’re at it, let’s be a little kinder to each other along the way."

Aww. Okay I think I should have started work long ago.