A good word to describe my mood these few days is thorny. I think I've been a bit weird around my friends. But I think my friends have been a bit weird too. We can be a bit weird together. No offence at all...

I just feel really annoyed at nothing especially these few days. It's not just the exams. But there's no point being angry at nothing when you can be calm and happy.

Anyway here's a really good song


Unlikely that I'll blog the next few days... I think...

And I never thought that I would find something from the Confessions page inspiring, but today I did, so I'll share part of that status with you. And you can see the full status on my timeline if you want to...

So many things matter than getting good grades, and for everyone in school complaining about competition or regretting coming to SMU, know that:

a) It's you who makes it competitive for yourself.

b) Studying is about running your own race and achieving your own potential, not your friend's, and not that genius scholar's you sit across in class. Just because someone has a GPA of 3.9 doesn't make him/her a better person than you are.

c) Once you get good grades, you may get a good JOB. But your peers who score less than you still have a chance of having a better CAREER than you. A good career, is never ever judged by your grades, and success it judged by one's career, and not one's job. I'd suggest develop the skills that'll give you a good career, and not just study blindly.

SMU modeled after the world's top top TOP schools. Guys, we're being educated the Wharton/Carnegie Mellon way, at less than 10% the cost. We have the world's best librarians, career support and a tight knit school community and student support group. We'll never have any of this outside SMU, or outside in the working world.

Exam week might be coming soon, but remember that there are many things in our school life we should and cherish. The BE emcee who never knew how to emcee, but ended up hosting in front of thousands of people, or the Dancer who never knew how to dance but picked it up anyways and won an award, or the Aquathlete who never knew how to swim, but won a medal at a national competition, or the Artdicted member who never knew Adobe, but set up a workshop to share his/her passion about Illustrator, or the budding entrepreneur with a good idea who, despite all the odds, started a company of his own - and the hundreds and hundreds of other stories - Success in school isn't just measured by your grades, it's measured so many other ways.

Cherish being in this wonderful school we are in called Singapore Management University, and live life to the fullest.

All the best for exams.

School pride aside, I think this is really good advice especially right now when I'm beating myself up everyday about how I'm slacking off or how I didn't prepare enough for my moot or how I'm screwing up my own grades by being unmotivated.
This post reminds me that I am actually running a race with myself, which is exactly how I thought in semester 1-- At that time, I didn't really care how I did, I only cared that I was trying my best. My mentality was that I didn't know how the grading system worked anyway, so I'd just go all out and try my best. That's why I was happier last semester.
I think this sem I'm focusing too much on what grades I'm getting rather than focusing on whether I'm trying my best... which is probably why I feel so drained right now. I finally understand that measuring yourself against grades and against other people's perceptions of you can really erode your self-confidence. Screw all those grades, I really did try my best for every one of those B minuses I got. I probably just lacked... enough knowledge. I might feel pissed that effort doesn't equate to good grades. But it's even worse if I just throw a hissy fit and refuse to do my best and still beat myself up over slacking. That's just treating myself very badly.

And... putting myself into perspective... I honestly think this semester's work is harder than last semester's. The concepts are tougher. It's not that I'm getting stupider. The readings are insane and I think my sem 1 self would throw a fit at my contract readings especially, which my sem 2 self also did. (But where's the point in throwing fits?)
Okay so with that I think I'm all set for studying for my exams.