That moment when I discover someone I know I'll always respect. (Although I don't even know that person.) And who at the same time makes me feel rather small and empty, because what else am I but an aimless child wandering the earth? I don't seek to change the world, I only seek to survive and protect myself and the few things I treasure.
So I really applaud those who have the guts to reach out to people and try to create some positive change in the world on a large scale. I don't believe that I can create a positive change. Oh no, that sounds really depressing for a young person like me to say.  Okay, maybe not yet, when I don't know what I wanna change yet. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing.
I read a status on confessions today about how smu students should stop being so fixated on their gpa, and focus on learning the value of the courses we take. Yeah I guess. In year 1 sem 1 I was more into the learning itself and really loving it. Now I'm just an insecure student worrying about her gpa. Now that I've realised it, it feels like I've been caught in a trap all along. Gotta get out of it.
Feeling so restless right now. Had vague temptations to hurl the objects in my hands against the wall a few times today. Don't worry, I think it's just the inactivity-- all the sitting and the slouching on the couch. Need to get out of the house.

ANOTHER THING. In my notes: "...John Dewey's observation that irritation is the starting point of thought as well as the first sign of life." Maybe that's why I sometimes feel irritated when doing my readings.