Help.
Whatever I do these days seems to have originated from other people's ideas. I don't seem to have my own ideas.
I think sometimes I take the "anything goes" attitude, and I just go with any current I get caught up in. Because usually what matters most to me is the company I'm in. So life is just a huge wok of rojak. I don't cook up my own exotic dish; it's not about creating my identity... I just take any interesting ingredient and throw it in. Rojak is delicious. (but it's black and messy?)

Now I'm just confused, and I know it because sometimes different people ask me the same questions but I give them different answers. Or I don't know how to answer and I just cook something up.
I feel like I'm standing in the middle of swirling autumn leaves.
It's not a good or bad feeling.

It's time to sit down and shut down all other voices, and find my own voice that got lost in the leaves. I think I've been lost for too long... But when you're lost, don't you ask for directions? And if you ask for directions, don't you follow them? This is just full of contradiction.

There's something that has been getting on my nerves. I can't stand people who stare at their phones when they are supposed to be talking with other people around them. It seems like a lot of communication that people do takes place online or is about something you see online. Isn't there something else besides that thing on the screen which is worthy of conversation? The handphone is an unhealthy mode of escapism. You're too lazy to think of a topic to share with the people around you, and so you take out your phone to make it seem like you're busy. I feel like too much time spent on the phone damages my mental faculties. If I what's-app people for too long I think my language will be reduced to "lol", "eh", "why", "donno", and my language will become highly truncated singlish to save myself the trouble of typing on a small touch keypad. Do this for too long and I feel like a zombie.