I decided to do something that most closely resembled doing work, which is blogging.
I just feel so unmotivated this week. The last time I felt like this was... beginning of sec 4 I think. Life is wonderful, life is pretty, there are great people around me. But I just don't feel that great inside. Whenever I ask myself what I'm doing, I feel a heavy dreariness pulling my very being down...to the depths of goodness-knows-what.
However moods change and with the right music I find that my mind clears and I feel ready to go again. Kind of.
The time when I seriously felt driven this year was... end of term 1 I think. I especially remember my KI mentor giving us our first pep talk and I was quite blown away by it, and I set my sights on great distant mountains (but they were vague and misty like mountains naturally are). Now everything's just a horrible marshland. I almost feel like a Gollum.
Maybe now I'm feeling like this generally because I'm growing tunnel-visioned-- all I see and think of now is school, school work, school. I've forgotten about the world: Earth, the galaxy beyond. Northern Lights. The Milky Way. Neptune and Pluto.
^_^
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