Band was quite pleasant today. At least I wasn't as lost as I was last Saturday, when I was the only player.
Something amusing happened today. The conductor singled me out today and asked me to play the chromatic scale while he held the tuner next to me. Why? Because I was an example of someone who plays out of tune.

So yes, definitely must go and practice and get in tune. 8]

But the conductor is quite nice, he always puts negative things across in a nice manner.

If I like band enough by the end of next year, maybe I'll consider continuing after JC.

Should start doing homework, and study also; but cannot mug now, if not will burn out later, according to my friend who quoted the J2s.

So. I shall watch 爱. What an exciting way to spend my nights. :)

Wow I've hit 200 posts?

Sometimes I feel like I haven't talked enough on some days, and maybe that's why I come here to do more talking. Indeed I didn't do ANYTHING at all today. At NUH I mean.

Today was the last day all 8 of us will go to NUH... I think I had quite a lot of fun mixing with them, there are really nice people in there :3 People who allow others to kope their iPhones every minute to play NinjaJump and TapTap, including me, and I'm proud to say that I'm the lowest-scoring person for both games; people who are easy to chat to; people who just have "laugh now!" written on their noses. I mean that in a good way...

When people ask me what I want to study at university, I think my true answer is I don't know? But the answer that comes to mind first is medicine. Do I really want to study that actually?

I think for the past 11 years of school I've been waiting for things to happen to me. Maybe I should start making things happen to me? As in, I feel like I should apply myself more to the world outside, and stop cooping myself up in the world of school, home and school. But this requires concrete plans, which I should dream up the next few days. No, dream is not a good word. I should start to seriously consider these plans.

I think I've only got half a foot in the idea of taking H3 next year... Firstly, I regret not appealing for the pharm chem course, and now it's too late. And now the only H3 option open to me is Proteomics for Biology and I think I honestly don't have the intellectual capacity to handle that, plus all my H2 subjects. And the MOE H3 exam is around the same time as A' levels. It's a wonder I even have half a foot in the idea of taking H3.
And also, if I can do well for all my H2 subjects, it would be quite a wonderful thing already...

I miss school. I mean, the environment that school immerses me in. Still, the holidays are like a sweet breath of fresh air in the middle of all the mucky polluted air that is sometimes school so I do appreciate it. Although I wish my holidays were busier? Still, those free days I have now could be used for lost family and friend time that I didn't set aside during term time.

Should start researching for KI soon. I was thinking of one or two topics yesterday, and all those big questions came up in my mind, and all these questions came quite fuzzily, like I haven't been in touch with big issues for a long time, and doing research suddenly made my brain switch to an unused ground that seemed slightly deja vu.
I was thinking about doing something about the death sentence in Singapore and how it relates to our understanding of human nature. Like, do we think human nature is good or bad, and how does this justify our government's stand on capital sentences? I did some research and nothing really concrete could be found. Everything was quite fuzzy and sometimes the research meandered into religious ground, which I don't want to be touching on in my project.

I think religion doesn't feature heavily in my life right now... it's like something I bother to think about because it's what my family believes in. I think when people grow older, they naturally turn to religion more, so I think I'll be more religious next time.
Although I really don't have an answer to why there was a big bang in the first place, and why us apes came wandering onto earth.
But I think some lessons in Biology this year really cleared things up about how the earth is today.

If the world ends in 2012, at least that will give us enough time for a short break between JC and university, so we can do our favourite things first before we all vapourize and become nothing more than particles of rock and gas in outer space.

I feel like kicking myself for not being a kiasu-kid earlier. >( Kiasu-kids open more doors of opportunity (which could also lead to dead ends,though) but slackers like me just shut these doors, and after a while when it's too late they realize they actually want it.

Maybe I feel like doing the same for not being smart enough. But ignore this.

Maybe all this is so that my plate, being very small, will not overflow and stuff on it will not tumble onto the ground like the meatball in the Spaghetti Song.

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And onto the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door...

How dramatic. ^_^
It's was one of our campfire songs. Lolz.

I think I'm secretly a very fussy person and I avoid whatever disturbs my routine, and my state of mind. I don't know.
A bit boring today cos I was the only one at the clinic. Everyone was somewhere else. Had a whole clinic of people to myself and only got 1 interviewee!
Still, it's not the quantity that matters, it's the experience, yeah...

Somehow today was a draining day although nothing much happened at all, I suppose it's because it's Monday and I always feel sleepy on Mondays. I'm running out of clothes to wear to the hospital... maybe I'll go in my pajamas tomorrow...

Managed to get a swap for my shift for attachment... so now I'll be able to go for more band, but it isn't really much. Even though I've swapped I still only have 4 more pracs before concert... how? D: But I guess 4 pracs would make a difference if I just make full use of them.

SO NOW my last few weeks of december are gone! To nuh! Argh...

It's so admirable, you know, how some people write so well and suss out deep knotty issues so clearly.

I don't understand myself.
After a whole year of spending all my days in school, doing homework, making friends, I've finally come to the holidays, and I've come back to myself, and I wonder who this person is that I've been for 17 years.

I cannot pinpoint within myself a purpose. Like, what do I want out of life?

I hope I'm not being an angsty teenager who's complaining about life that she actually doesn't understand, yo.
Would my mum be worried if she saw this.

Actually attachment is getting more fun. x) I mean, there's a lot of walking around and staring blankly, waiting for new patients to come in so you can ask them if they have glaucoma, but other than that, interviewing itself is really quite a pleasant job. The coffee from the vending machine is quite wonderful too, and seeing that I'm a non-coffee-drinker, it's saying something! Plus today was fun because I finally observed for myself what tap-tap the game is all about. :D

I asked my mum that day why I was studying in a jc, because I was suddenly struck by the idea that working in NUH's ophthalmology department as a technician really isn't a bad job at all-- you get to see all sorts of patients and probably make small talk with them if you want to, and it's also quite cosy, what with air-cons, and hot and foamy coffee, and a nice white lab coat for you.
And she said I shouldn't say things like that because I was scaring her, and she explained to me what all this studying would amount to in the end, which I'm sure all of you are very familiar with so I won't write them down here. At the end of it I concluded she made more sense.
DUH!, I'm sure.

First week has been quite relaxing cos in the day,I go to NUH; in the evening, I post something on my blog; tis quite a comfortable life.

Poey. I mean J. :D I don't really know what these supposed walls are really. But I suppose working in a place other than school and my home helps remove these walls :) like NUH.
I think volunteering at a hospital is quite a fun idea. It's just about whether I have time.
Of course, it's up to you to make time for yourself, that's what my mum would say immediately if I were to tell her this.

If I were stranded on an island, and I could take just one song with me, I'd take this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEUfscdqpNg&feature=related <33 A piano cover of one of Yiruma's songs.

Maybe when you can't find any reasons to encourage yourself to do something, but you cannot let it go, you should just have a go at it...?

There were reasons but they are starting to seem more and more unfounded.

(nothing to do with attachment)

Well if you say your world is small, I now feel like mine is smaller, because the only people I know outside are people I've got to know from ny and ny and hc. But I'm not saying this in a i'm-worse-than-you-so-stop-complaining kind of tone I'm just reflecting about my own life after reading about yours.

Sigh I feel like I'm in a bit of a limbo myself.

As I thought to myself earlier, I've sold my holidays to an attachment. After I really found out what was in store ahead of me I couldn't help thinking of all the things I'd miss out on, one of the most obvious ones being Band pracs on Wednesdays and Fridays, and this is quite disastrous since concert's coming up. And other things being outings with friends and I suppose, homework time. But another part of me thinks that I shouldn't allow myself to bum around at home since I lack the self-discipline to go out and chuang3 on my own, by doing some self-initiated CIP or going to work or things like that. So I shall just do it positively and after all it is interesting working with new people, new people being other hc people from other classes, and staff members at nuh. And wearing work-clothes, yeah.
This is such a roundabout train of thought I'll never get tired of thinking about what I just wrote; as I've said above I've thought about this before.

Anyway I had my first day of attachment yesterday. No one to interview because the glaucoma clinic was closed, except for one patient who happened to be there, so my friend went to interview her. So I spent the day backing up data (images, videos) in a hard disk and chatting with fellow attachees (hmm) and going in and out of rooms, watching how people's eyes were scanned. Saw images of retinas and and irises, things like that. Addressed a staff member as auntie and promptly heard her friend laugh non-stop about it, so paiseh. x)

Mmm I suddenly feel like I'm very narrow-minded, like I'm a turtle at the bottom of the sea complaining about how dark the bottom of the sea is.

Mmm I'm missing out on band pracs which do sound quite fun, from what pling says, and I'm going to turn up for band prac on saturday sounding like I've never played the euphonium even once. Actually I won't make any sound at all, I'll be too busy figuring out how to count and gaping at the notes because they are too high or something >( .
Btw, I hope you can tell I'm exaggerating.

And I do feel quite bad for skipping two outings in a row, the first being fac outing and the second being sec 4 class outing.

Meant to do some homework tonight but I didn't know how to do about half of it (maths tutorial) and if anyone has done it, please call me and introduce yourself as my P&C fairy godmother.

Spent my day absorbed in a book called Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.

Goodnight, and this turtle is going to sleep in her very dark room.

Read this. http://singapore2025.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/marshall-of-singapore/ :) It is an interview of David Marshall in 1994.

PW is over! It wasn't exactly a whole year's of hard work (at least for me) but it was hard work and all this hard labour is now past! Felt wonderfully free after our group's Q and A. Some odd questions but I think my group answered well.
I like my group. :)

Then went for class chalet, yes quite fun, tried to learn how to play mahjong for the 2nd time in my life, half-succeeded (at least I know what's hu2 okay) because half of the time I didn't know what to do next. Also lots of cooking and lots of washing up. And a cute kitten :3 But while playing with it I suddenly got worried that it'd poo on me so I quickly scooped it up and passed it back to jm.

Band. Very messy. I keep forgetting how to count. Not looking good! Seeing as I might miss a lot of band pracs. Sigh later cannot perform for concert. B|

A bit sian now. I don't know why. I think it's the prospect of not being in school with friends and classmates within an arm's reach, for many weeks! Still holidays are looking quite exciting I think I will have a lot of time to emo.

Next year would be a tough one. J2. SYF. I mean this doesn't look like much, it's only 5 characters long, but I think it's quite a combination to tackle.

Oh it's quite scary. Just a few more weeks to go and I'll be in J2. Then a year will fly by and I'll be taking A levels then after that we'll all be picking our own universities and we'll be scattered across the world (well not really everyone will either go to US or England or stay here) and we'll say goodbye to another phase in our lives, and bid farewell to our current circle of friends and move on to make new ones.
But of course friends stay in touch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhRvd0bzIoE Now don't dismiss this as fluff.
This song reminds me of how I used to stare at his videos with glazed eyes. Lolz. Used to. But he's still a wonderful singer. :)

My PW group leader is awesome. :D

Tips for nervous people like me. Two more days.
http://www.wikihow.com/Not-Get-Nervous
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Looking-Nervous

Just made a mistake! D: I hate feeling like I just did something stupid. Sometimes I hope that I will never ever make a mistake in my life so that I can avoid that feeling. So sometimes I shut out all tell-tale signs and tell myself that it was fate and not myself that caused the mistake. Or sometimes I just don't do anything so I won't make mistakes. But sometimes when it's glaringly obvious that the problem lies with me then I'll feel like that.

But never mind, I suppose life is all about alternating between feeling smart and feeling stupid, so I shouldn't avoid it. If not I'll only have half a life?

Wow today was quite epic I just tried to shut out all signals of negativity coming towards me.

Maybe I should learn to embrace negativity.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm almost autistic. Because I think I behave like that occasionally, but not often enough to actually be diagnosed as autistic. Because autistic people try to shut out the external world right?

The man who smokes so much, the rims of his eyes are permanently red. He looks like he hasn't slept in 10 years.

The beautiful girl whose head is so empty, any idea that goes inside practically bounces about.

The girl who has decided to skip her Chinese examination on Wednesday.
Yes, it has been decided.
It has been reasoned out that, if a year is not enough, two days would hardly be enough too.

Today rates 9.5 out of 10 on the Sian Scale. B|

Guess what. I have embraced K-Pop and I think Lollipop is cute.
Oh my, Armaggedon is here!

I made another discovery. Yann Tierson, he's as great as Yiruma, if not better! 8D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyCRJmerW1Q This is called Comptine d'un Autre été. Whatever it means. But it's really nice. Nice is so over-used, but you know what I mean right.

Omg, my dear piano, here I come!!! After OP.

The things my brother does in school...the things he sees...wouldn't look out of place in a movie like Hannibal Rising or Saw.
He's having his Pathology posting! Which sounds really...gross.

Note that I'm not criticizing the school or its syllabus, or making fun of it... I just think my brother is really cool and if I were him I'd faint on the spot and have to be carried out of the school on a stretcher.

Felt extremely sad today after a whole hour of lecturing from our CT. I mean, she's with child and she stood for the entire hour without resting, and lectured us. Of course the class was dead silent. We could hear everyone else celebrating the last official day of school.
That actually isn't the main point. The thing about the lecture was that what she said was really quite true and I felt thoroughly inadequate after it.

Have made plans for this week and the coming week; must put it into action!!

Looking forward to class chalet next thursday! But before that would be lots of mugging and hard work.

Socially inept.