when is this rat race ever gonna end? the way i see it, it's never ending. we used to tell ourselves, work hard now and you will not regret it, because you reap what you sow. 'pain is temporary, grades are forever' was my mantra at one time. but even if it's temporary, recurring pain is gonna have rather unhealthy effects. i see the unhealthy effects in myself, my friends, everywhere. it's poison. the way to avoid this rat race is not become a rat yourself. very self-righteous words, and i don't like self-righteous people although i am being one myself, but it makes me feel better. and not becoming a rat means you just don't see it as a rat race. you see it as something you truly wish to do. and make sure it's something you truly wish to do.

valentine's day. my mum asked me: did anybody ask you out? 'nope!' was my reply. my aunt told me gleefully: next year you're gonna have a date on this day because you're gonna have a boyfriend!! 'not gonna happen cos i'm not gonna have one' was my reply. the way i see it, there are lots of eligible guys and girls (i mean i'm straight, but i'm saying that my girlfriends and i are VERY eligible people) around, but the things that are stopping us from lovin' are fear, lack of time and a desire for freedom. 1) see, when you start trying to love, you need to be really brave, because it's a new stage of life, and you're not sure if you're gonna get rejected, and you know you are subjecting yourself to that person's inner bitch and you've gotta brace yourself for it. 2) you need to have lots of time, for the lovin' and the hatin' you're gonna do with that person. 3) you need to sacrifice some of your freedom, cos you're gonna have to work around that person's inner bitch and so you've gotta rein in YOUR own inner bitch, and you've got to sacrifice some precious family time or me-time for that person.
love how my inner Latino accent is coming out in me. i guess i use it when i'm feeling assertive about something. ;)
so yeah, right now i kinda enjoy feeling the vibe of being around single people. what vibe, you may ask. it's the vibe of uncertainty, of friendship, of hope, of being pre-occupied with other things. you can sense it in single people. when you're around attached people, it's the vibe of friendship and certainty, which is fun too.
see, life can be fun. if you want it to be.
dammit la just super sian about all the work i've gotta do right now that's why there's so much bullshit on my blog right now. and so little time. and my pace of work is like stagnating. whaat the hell.