Generally in a bad mood on Monday mornings and everyone on the mrt looks like an eyesore.
Sigh but I need to think of more positive stuff.
I wish we all weren't so serious about ourselves. Clutching at ourselves like we were the only things in the world left that's worth our tiny grips. Truth is there's so much more that our hands can contain.
Ooh wow look I feel kinda inspired now haha click on this: 13 rules high-achievers never break.
Today my friends said I seem very stressed. Oh well.
要跟自己过得去
And you know you're being cowardly and childish when everyone and everything starts looking scary to you.
Really admire those people who had the courage to just up and go. It's not about academics. What I'm talking about is how I can sustain this lifestyle, and how I can live with myself feeling under the weather more often than usual. Cliched-ly put, it's more of a self-discovery thing.
I know I don't wanna up and go. Not sure why though. I think generally I see some hope.
It's like what I tell myself when I'm left with 1 more round around the track before I finish up my 2.4 km run, I'll just say, one more round, it can't hurt!
Well, now I tell myself, 2.5 more years, it can't hurt!
It's definitely not an accurate analogy, but another supporting reason is I've made it through 1 year doing fairly okay so why not give the rest a go. It's like, I've already run 1.6 km or so, and so what is 0.8 km more?
But a rational/motherly voice in my head is saying it's not as bad as I make it out to be so... I just need to let go of all these... fears.
It's not just fear though, it's more like a feeling that I know burn-out is coming. I know the lactic acid is building up. The negative energy. The vindictiveness, the annoyance I keep feeling at innocent people.
But I keep these nasty thoughts at bay. Because whenever I see people complaining about said topic on a public platform, I judge them so badly. It's just my instinctive reaction to go eew at them. So I try not to practice what I detest. It's okay if people complain to their friends though, I do that too.
Simply put, I feel like I need to go gym or go for cca. I need to see more friendly and genuine faces.