Sometimes I read something that changes my mindset forever. I've just started reading this book, The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom, and there's a sentence that goes like this:

"Sometimes, when you are not getting the love you want, giving makes you think you will."

What a sad sentence...

It just makes me feel like there's not enough love going around this world, because people are just too shy, conservative, lazy, or just too full of their own lives to bother. Or too prejudiced. Too narrow-minded. Too blinded by misunderstandings. Too much inertia, too much rigidity. It creates more isolation in our lives. But on the bright side, I guess it's a good thing that people still try to love. Occasionally they are rewarded. And by the way, remember that there are different sorts of love. 

And here's another sorrowful bit in the book--

"As mankind grew obsessed with its hours, the sorrow of lost time became a permanent hole in the human heart. People fretted over missed chances, over inefficient days; they worried constantly about how long they would live, because counting life's moments had led, inevitably, to counting them down."

I guess that's why I'm afraid of having free days with absolutely nothing to do.

But yet when I'm busy I yearn for free time alone.

Aiyo, 做人难. Imagine if you were a little puppy and you had no conception of time. You'd just live in blissful ignorance till the day you die. You'd probably be happier. Would you rather know and be less happy, or not know and probably be happier? But there's no point thinking of an answer to this question because it's not like we can change who we are. 

I remember reading somewhere that we don't know how best to live our own lives because we don't have any comparison. We only have one try at living the life we want. I forgot where I read that. Anyway what I wanted to say is, there's a solution to that, which is reading biographies of famous people. Not sure whose biography to start with though. Any suggestions? Maybe I should read the biography of a tortured soul, like Sylvia Plath. And then maybe I could move on to the biography of a happier person. But there I am stuck. Who can say that they are truly happy? Okay, maybe Justin Bieber's biography might fit the bill. There's a problem though. He's younger than me by 1 year. Who reads biographies of people younger than them??(And apparently he has the same birthday as me. My soulmate...)

Crap I'm typing so much rubbish. I should be starting on my Revision Plan for Recess Week.

Here's a happy song for you. Listening to this song makes me visualize hobbit holes and rolling green hills. 

But I checked out the lyrics immediately after I wrote that and I realized, hey, it's actually a sad song hidden in a happy tune.

How do I live, what do I give now? With my sweet love gone, with my sweet love gone. 

;( ;( ;(

I guess we can never be 100% happy. But... a few moments of happiness are enough.