Shouldn't be blogging cos I'm chionging my readings (oops! but the seniors apparently say it's impossible to finish readings. this is not to be heeded though cos i'll have to finish them anyway before the exams). But I need to express something which I actually wanted to say in a chat with a friend last night/wee hours of this morning but was too sleepy to be bothered to.
Everyone in uni is so grown up! Expressions of stress and sleepiness-- e.g. whining, purposeful blurness, etc (whatever you might do when you're stressed and sleepy) seem to be non-existent and I seem to be the only one doing it at times. I can't help worrying what some of my groupmates think of me. Do they think I'm childish? I hope not :(
Purposeful blurness-- this is something quite unique to me I suppose. I really act blur at times. Not being really blur. ;)
*Needs to grow up more.
---
Crap. In this whirlwind of chionging readings for a lesson about 2 hours later, I feel really anxious. I can actually feel my BP rising.
But there's a voice of reason telling me (no I'm not schizo) that I should have learnt a lesson from my schooling years by now-- never learn because of fear. Fear that I will not keep up, fear that maybe the prof will call my name and ask me a question about a case (actually my prof never did that. Except for once, but maybe that was cos I was looking a bit sleepy). I should learn because I really want to find out things by myself. Given the limited amount of time, well... I should still stick to this principle to preserve my sanity, my sense of self. I will catch up by end of this week. Forget about being well-prepared for 2 hours later.
By rushing I can't remember all the questions I asked myself and the answers I wanted to find out for myself, which defeats the point of reading anyway.