Sigh...

For the past few days I was feeling fine. I felt like I was in control of everything. I was perpetually in a good mood.

Today, all this disappeared, and it was already like that in the morning.

Feeling tired, flabbergasted, stressed. I just want to run to Antarctica and hibernate there till next year...

I don't know why I'm feeling like that today. It's like what Jess said. But I think I'll feel better after babbling about on this post.

Everything's moving so fast. Everyone, everything is a blur. Zoom. It's Wednesday. Wasn't it Sunday yesterday? I always feel surprised when somebody tells me the date nowadays. And there are many things to do. Which is why I'm not supposed to be here, because all this is just a waste of time that could be productive. Whateverr..

I miss CCA. Surprisingly. I've never been able to miss CCA. It's the first time in my life that I feel myself missing CCA. I think it's because a) music is fun and b) it adds diversity to my week in school.

People around me are feeling stressed/emo. They don't say it, but I see it. It's written all over their faces.

"I'm stressed. I need to vent my feelings out, but I don't know how" is what their eyes say.

or "I'm tired"

or "I need to be somewhere else now"

or "I don't know what I'm doing"

or "I'm not doing enough"

And I cannot do anything, because I don't know what problems they have run into that day, and it would be weird if I shove myself into their faces and say "Cheer up. Now. Or I eat you."

My mum was making me worried yesterday by saying I look like an auntie rather than a 17 year-old. She was saying all that to make me sleep earlier as I found out afterwards. She says sleeping at 1 am everyday will take the youth out of my eyes and make me lose hair and give me lots of pimples. And soon strangers will call me Da Jie or auntie rather than Xiao Mei. -.-

Opportunities are so rare and few. I've finally understood what this means. I once thought that being in relatively good schools almost all my life should mean that opportunities knock on my door everyday. How wrong I was.

Was doing homework just now with Mum.

Me: Mummy, I don't want to grow uppppppppppppp~~

Mum: Growing up's good what, can get married!

Me: (o_O?!) Huh. I just want to stay a student all my life!

Mum: Yah, actually being a student is very good because you have no worries.

Yup true. Given the fact that so many students are so emo nowadays, I dread what "worries" there are outside school, waiting for us to grow up so they can plant themselves into our minds.