I woke up this morning to an interesting article, which was a tribute from a reporter to his humanities programme teacher, Mr Barnard (who is retiring). The phrases that jumped out at me the most was "rush to produce scientists and engineers....students...being drilled into timidity and submission" (something like that, not word for word), and how this reporter ditched his triple science education for a HP one. This is definitely not an attack on studying science in school, but these phrases made me think about whether I could be one of the students who submitted to traditional ideas about the merits of studying science.

I admire my two friends who jumped from their triple science sec sch education into the HP, for not being afraid to take the untried and untested route, to do things based on their own gut feeling. Honestly, at the end of sec 4 I considered trying out for HP, but I didn't because I felt I didn't have the knack for humanities. So I wondered if I had chosen my current subject combi through a process of elimination instead, and not because I really wanted to learn science. 

But I think if I could time travel like Zac Efron in 17 again, I would still choose my current subject combi. Because I think studying Bio has been fun, and it was especially so in J1. 

I remember taking a taxi home one day. The driver started asking me what I wanted to do after JC. "Be a doctor lah," he suggested in Chinese.

"I don't want to be a doctor," I replied.

Then he started talking about how being a doctor would be like having an iron rice bowl, because the government will never think the country has too many doctors, and how doctors never become unemployed anyway. But I'm strongly against such ideas. You don't choose a job for money. Maybe, coming from a generation of poverty, the driver thinks like this. But I have had the privilege of a comfortable childhood and a good education, and this is all because our parents/grandparents wanted us to have a better life, so I should fulfill their legacy by breaking out of these restrictions triggered by poverty, and think for myself.

I also remember how I was suddenly inspired by something a few days ago, I can't remember what. I sprung up on my mum and told her assertively that I would grow up to work for myself and not for the government, and I would be in charge of my own job and not be controlled by any boss! 

At which she gave me a bored look and said "It's good that you think this way now."

"What do you mean, now??" 

"I mean it's good that you think like this now, but it's another matter whether you actually do this next time," she said. She sounded bored.

So I gave a "hmph" and turned away. Frankly, there's some truth in what she's saying. Because I've been thinking of a scholarship and if I want a scholarship there's a very slim chance I can fulfil what I said. And if I want to be my own boss then I should be prepared for...financial losses etc.

Anyway, who knows? For now, it's time to be serious about the present, A levels are 1 month away, and I'm not treating my future seriously if I continue slacking like this. :/


yay Coldplay's so cool.