Choosing

The present is so transient...It disappears and comes again every millisecond. And what disappears is stored in our neurons as a memory.
But memories are so intangible. There is no way of telling them apart from imagination, you won't know until you realize that you remembered them wrongly.

The future is also inaccessible, and it is more of imagination than the past is.

Only the present is within our reach.
------
Anyway this is the gist of what I read in a book. Haha. The book is called The Glass Room by Simon Mawer. A very deep book, I think I haven't fully understood it yet and I should revisit it again next time.

------
Today was really and truly my last day at attachment. Keyed in some data. Before that we met the technicians and had a little chat with one of them, called A. A is smart, practical and confident. He is juggling work and studies at the moment because he's studying for a degree in public health (if I didn't remember wrongly). I think he is the most chatty technician and also the most interesting to chat with. The others are really cheerful and friendly. Actually all people are, only if you know how to hit them on the right nerve and befriend them.

Anyway, this guy was telling A that he won't study ophthalmology next time because he is not good enough. And A said, Why not? If you want something just try for it and you'll be able to get it! If you don't try you'll never get it.

These aren't his exact words, I can't remember them because what struck me more was the way he said it-- there was a definite certainty in his voice. So much certainty and confidence that till now I still feel like I can do anything I want to as long as I set my mind to it. I can even get my flabby body to conquer Mount Everest, as long as I have the determination. (But no thanks.)

To add to the effect, there was something comic, and something close to mockery in his voice. I think he didn't intend to mock. I think it was his accent that did it. And a funny eyebrow movement. Haha.

Such strong determination can help us overcome our biological limitations. It is shown here in an extension of my little recount: A suggested to the guy that he could be a pilot. The guy said, nope, it's out of the question because I wear spectacles. A then said, Then you can go for Lasik!

This little anecdote might have bored you, but to me it was the inspiration of the day.
It's really like what Dumbledore teaches us. What defines your future is not your capabilities or your innate biological limitations, but your choices. As for your choices, it's really up to you how you define your parameters: how you limit yourself to certain choices, and how you don't limit yourself.

All this choosing needs is a little more time, for some people, so I don't want to believe in cramming my portfolio with H3s and CIPs, to get some diploma, or some scholarship (although I wouldn't say no to one). All I want for next year is for me to lead a life outside school, and try to inject more meaning into my academic existence.
Okay this paragraph is a sidetrack. But what I've thought about is all up there already...

And this D, he comes from the same school as us. From what he says it seems like he regrets being associated with an institution of academic prestige. I'm not saying he hates the place, in fact he told us himself that the school gave him the best schooling experiences and really fun times, basically. But he has a disregard for academic prestige: I think he thinks it's not all there is to a person, and what the school does is measure people up in exactly those terms, those academic terms, and defines students that way.

I remember my brother saying that medicine, and other courses, are sometimes chosen because they are courses associated with the elite. And after leaving schools, elite students don't know where else to go to besides those places associated with the elite, so they sign up for courses like these, like medicine. And they don't enjoy themselves...as much as somebody who signs up because he loves the job. I know somebody like that...it's a certain doctor whom I don't visit anymore...

But I'm not saying that this D chose medicine for prestige, I don't think he did. Somehow you can tell when a person is working for money and when a person is working to live.
Although the distinction between money and life is really blurred. But you know what I mean.