Wonderful lyrics:
Vanilla Twilight (by Owl City)
"And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here"

Just finished up OP slides yay.
Feeling so peaceful now, even though I know there's a monstrous load of work behind me.^_^

I just don't want to face up to this one thing, and my mum asked me about it just now. It felt like the way I do when I put my hand down on the canteen table and feel something gooey, and think it's something okay, like spilt gravy, but look down and realize it's bird poo.

D:

Anyway it's not anything serious and I'm not emo-ing!

On Friday I was so sleepy the whole day but I just couldn't fall asleep, for some reason, during ct session, even though I closed my eyes and purposefully went into zen mode.
And before that it was quite epic, because almost the whole class was in the library chionging out the WR.

After that I went for Bio O. Biodiversity. Didn't find it very engaging, maybe because my brain was slow and received the "go into zen-mode now" message later than it was supposed to. Anyway I think Biodiversity is more interesting learnt out in the fields or in dissection sessions. :)
Except for the time when I pinned a cricket to the board and it suddenly came to life. O: Will not forget that in a hurry.

Then it was CCA. That was a total failure, I couldn't play anything and I spent half my time staring at my score and trying to catch what the sec 4 high school player was playing. That still didn't help because it meant that I came in half a count late, if I decided to play at all, and played all the notes at odd pitches. 8(
And it's almost going to be our concert piece. I'm supposed to learn it all by next week!
Oh friends, go for band concert yah! :D

So, what I need is practice for my instrument.

But what I really need to do now is to do some PW.

Then tomorrow what I really need to do is some good studying.

Bye!

Been keeping late nights, although I usually fall asleep at the computer/on the sofa without knowing I just fell asleep.
So free now because I'm waiting for the hugeass file to upload into the email.
After this phase, this WR, is over, I will study for Bio O!

I actually felt a twinge of regret when I realized that tomorrow's the last day of school. I mean, this week has been quite hellish but I think school is still, in general, very fun, and I think I will miss it.

"Make use of your holidays to prepare for J2 arhh!"-- All our teachers
Wise words...

Wow I've never stayed up so late before. Tomorrow I'm really going to be a walking zombie. Oh no I'm going to grow wrinkles and look OLD.

PW is so...!

Just today, we... URGH nvm don't say not safe to say k bye.

OMG damn scared later get C for PW how? D:

Wow I feel so awake. It's 2.30am. Be proud of me, all ye other night owls!

OH NOOOOOO why am I still slacking?! Back to work back to work back to work!
PW. Bio. Maclaurin's Expansion test.
Chinese. (erm...)

I will repent because Tomorrow is coming, and Tomorrow I'm going to see how badly I've done for Maths and Biology.
I don't think I studied hard for Maths at all.

Hello my results! My dreams are slipping further and further away...

The post-promo period tests one's ability to take failure and keep faith in oneself. Might have done badly, but well at least you tried, and you know you'll try equally hard, if not harder, next year!

Anyway, be happy, if not on your deathbed you'll regret not letting yourself be happier; saw poey's post.

I can't stand it I'm getting in touch with my Chinese/Hokkien roots and watching 爱 everyday. There's this guy called Lai Wuji; he's super fun to watch :D

For some reason, I found Super Junior's Bonamana MV engaging. It was quite a wonderful work of art.
HAHAHA... I'm serious. I always am.
Maybe I'll make watching Korean band's MVs a new pastime.
I think it was a refreshing change from listening to gloomy old English songs, yelling about how pathetic the world is and how mean that girlfriend was, etc, etc.
Although Westlife is still my all-time favourite. And Owl City. And the occasional Katy Perry, maybe. And not to mention, Lord of the Rings songs!!!

PW has reached a whole new level. Wow...

Now that I'm going to get back all my promo papers, I know I will either feel relieved, or utterly disappointed, or find myself in between relief and disappointment. Of course, there is also trepidation, because I'll wonder if my revision was enough, and I'll wonder if I can reach the top of that mountain I set my sights on in the first place.
Today was a mixture of relief and disappointment...Satisfactory.

Oh and for another unknown reason I find this picture post-worthy. Who is this? Someone enlighten me. OMG lol.




What is happening to me I think it's the result of having URGENT PW to do but not wanting to do it. Oh if jh sees this she'll keel me...

Get alive, and do things!!!

Wasted whole day away today. 8(

Dreary post alert...
Used to segregate my life into: Normal school life, exam time, and slack time. But it probably won't work now, seeing that I've slacked all my days from end of promos till now and accumulated quite a lot of backlog already. Shall stop wasting time, soon, and do some work.
Feeling unusually at peace with everything around me, which also means not in the mood to talk to people physically around me. Feeling at peace enough to want to camp outside in a tent and wonder about life's great mysteries, whatever they are. Haven't stared at the stars in a long time...
Listened to some oldies today... 周华建,邓丽君... her voice is really nice! Can't actually find a modern substitute for her.
Played the piano today...yay! Just some old songs I rummaged out. Quite annoyed that the lizards actually climbed onto my piano to relieve themselves GRRR. But it just shows that I haven't been using my piano for a very long time, because in my house, disused furnitures always become toilets for lizards.

Looking forward to lessons resuming, surprisingly. I just want to get back to that routine even though it previously robbed me of lots of sleep. I don't want JC to end! More precisely, I don't want JC1 to end.

SNORE.

Einstein Inspires

Albert Einstein:
"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
(very comforting.)

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

MUST slog for PW!!! 1 more month! And we will be able to reap the sweet fruits of our slogging!!! I suppose.

List of authors to look up in library:
1) David Sedaris
2) Salman Rushdie
3) Guy Gavriel Kay

List of sheet music to look for:
1) Yiruma's pieces


Today was fun. Looking forward to attachment! :)
Doctor and nurses were very friendly and the RP students were... different. Most of us were stonefaced at first including me, but most of them came across as street-smart, socially smart.
And most of them have worked before or are working. Hey I want a part-time job too! But I'm just talking here because I know I'll never (not in the near future) muster enough willpower to a) scout for a job b) sacrifice my own time and c) get my mother's permission to go out and work.
He says that JC students like to think in straight lines, and walk in straight lines, and even when they reach a wall they don't stop, they just zhuang4 qiang2.
O:

But I do agree, to some extent. Sometimes after reflecting on how I think I feel like I've been bred to think in black and white. After all my life has been a breeze so far, and I've never had to fight hard for something I really wanted. And I'm not just thinking about IP, where we can just go straight to that elite JC without groveling with the rest of the nation in O'levels.

You're smart. You're not so smart.
You're hardworking. You're lazy.
I'm privileged. You're not. I should pity you.
I see my surroundings as this binary system. Maybe I see things in between, gray areas, but that's all, my world has just black, white and grey.
Tunnel-visioned.
I want to see the world!

Oh wtpeep Monday is not a free day for me. Zzz! Anyhow. I suppose it will be fun. It will be something different from going to school.
Anyway, I'm FREE today.
The Black Shadow of Mordor has passed!

Dreams should be made of paper so you can blow them away when you know you can't reach them.

Post-promo to-do list:
Somehow I think the whole "post-promo" label makes our lives sound really narrow. It's like BC and AD; Promos are apparently such a huge milestone in our lives.

1) Re-read LOTR
2) Read other books: Guy __ Kay (?), Salman Rushdie, other unread books at home, read classics, Sylvia Plath, raid my brother's room for books.
3) Play piano! and go and find new music to play
4) Be happy
5) Mug for J2 (NO.)
6) PW i love pw.
7) LOTR movie marathon HAHAH
8) Do something weird like learning how to knit

I need to re-appreciate the beauty of the writing in LOTR. :D

And discover the beauty of so many other books.

Remembered what jyun said today: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn19429-laws-of-physics-may-change-across-the-universe.html so cool!

Cute (song): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DLp-vE3AKg

I'm reading about the poet Sylvia Plath's life on Wiki and it made me really scared for a while. It made me realize how unimaginably scary it is to be really depressed and to have no one but yourself for company. To be trapped in your own mind. D: Apparently people who practise the arts (particularly poetry) are more likely to be depressed, especially female poets. :X

So, so depressed.
Usually in the middle of exam periods I have neither the mood nor the time to feel depressed, but now I do.
I feel like my self-worth has plummeted 100 points, yes, from 100 to 0.
I think it's partly because of Bio today. Bio was just a disaster. 10 on the Richter scale. Then again, I've never done a Bio paper which didn't feel like a disaster. But it still isn't good news, because I feel worse than I did after the block tests.
And then it's also because of some other more intangible reason... the general feeling that Chem and Maths aren't going to be any better.

But now that I've typed all this out it somehow feels like all this is just stupid black fluff that is out to get my morale down. Okay. Let me cheer up. Twang!

This is addressed to my future self who will look at my Promo marks and be shocked and emo and whatever. I feel like it's okay to make mistakes now. Even if I make a mistake everyday of my life, which is really quite pathetic, but possible, because (school) life is pathetic, but even if I do, as long as I learn from it, it will be fine. I might have regrets at the end of the day, but it is still better than ignorance, ie. not knowing your mistake. And also I need to warn my future self that no matter how well I do, there will always be people better than me, and such is the case for everyone, not just me. So it is bad to compare, as long as it involves comparing yourself with somebody else. And I also need to remember what wise teacher Mr Tan said-- "You are not your grades".

And I feel inspired by people who can go through 3 emotionally-gruelling days of Promos and still sound so happy, motivated, and ready to run.
Actually, KI wasn't very gruelling. Econs was...not gruelling either but after that I discovered mistakes but I don't care. And Bio was a catastrophe.

So I will go and study Chemistry now and hope that it will just be a gentle breeze on my face tomorrow.

And on Friday my self-worth will go up again, because I will be able to do all the things that I haven't been able to do.

Like playing the piano! Reading!

Oh noes I wasted so much time I'm going to dai for chem.

After reading about the two university students who died, and MM Lee's wife who passed away, I have come to a new conclusion, which was obvious a long time ago, just that I didn't realise it. Life is short. Therefore, my new life ambition is to be a happy person.

Sometimes there are things that make you worry and question your self-worth, like maybe the Promos, but tell yourself that if you try your best (and only you know what best means) then at the end of Promos you'll be a happy person. There, life ambition fulfilled (for that moment).

And my classmates have been sending us motivational messages almost everyday. Was slightly surprised initially, because I actually found some of them inspiring.

Revision doesn't ever seem to end. Especially for Bio. O:

Also, this is quote-worthy:

"3) The world won't collapse on you even if you happen not to be able to make it past your target mark/grade (touch lots of wood....). Always remember, we teachers are here to help you shoulder the world should it happen to fall on you!
(4) If there is a will, there is a way. Study hard is one such way!"

Aww. <3