Because there's no one online to talk to me :(( (everyone mugging for bio paper 3 already??) and it's quite lame to sms a random person and ask 'hey what you doingz', haha.
And I also understand because there seems nothing standing between me and a levels. Everyday is revision time! I can foresee that for the next 4 days I'll not step out of the house (except to get food?)
Right after chem today I was thinking about all my mistakes (again). Then I realized that by doing so I was probably shaving precious years off my life because thinking about them just made me sad again. It was cyclical: sad--"crap I could have gotten those marks..."/happy-- "I tried my best"/ and this repeats. So I decided to stop.
Then I watched the 6.30 pm news. There's this Chinese guy who said he beat his children every 3 days (am I right? I tend to tune out a little while listening to the news). It's like Amy Chua and her children. And he says all his children are in Beida now. The worst bit is that he thinks his children are successful now because he punished them. No, the worst bit is he wrote a book on punishment. I can't make sense of this. His children might be smart and hardworking now, but they are probably scarred in some way. Punishment might seem to work but this doesn't mean it's the best way to bring up a child.
This is slightly depressing.
Anyway, on an interesting note, my brother told me yesterday that I've been leading a sheltered life ever since I was born. We were arguing over something (forgot what), and he said this like it was the end of the story and he was right, I was wrong, haha. It's not like I didn't know I'm sheltered, but it was quite a nudge to my consciousness (can't think of a better phrase) to have someone say that to me. I totally agree, but agreeing makes me feel like my entire life is a lie. ._.
Okay, I shall stop crapping to you and I'll go back to my lie of a life.
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