Reminders to myself:

1) Don't be too judgemental of myself and of others

2) Don't think so much (except when reading law materials)

3) Find other modes of entertainment that are not on the laptop

Seriously, one whole day at the laptop is taking its toll on my... joints and my mind!

Gonna cook noodles for myself now. :)

Help, I don't understand my contract law textbook. :(
I guess I'll just lower my expectations and expect myself to not understand anything at all. In that case I've exceeded expectations because I've understood about 20% of it. Hurrah to myself for surpassing expectations.
Now for criminal law!
I think I slacked too much the past few days :( sleeping too much is probably the main reason.
I must work hard!
must!
must!
must!
Chillax!

I keep feeling the need to chat with people... I don't know! For example, now. I'd like very much to chat with somebody about school. Preferably somebody from school. But chat about what, I have no clue either.

It's kinda exciting and scary meeting new people. It's exciting because, hey, it's like broadcasting to the whole world that I'm here. It's scary because it's like letting so many people read you and screen you like a book. Sometimes I reach home and wonder what people's impressions of me are. But then afterwards I realize I'm judging myself too much and then usually I just let it be. Today is one of those days. So right now I'm chilling out by listening to Robbie Williams' Eternity. He's actually a really good singer, I don't know why I didn't discover him sooner. I guess it's because he was from a different era.

And then after I chill out I guess I'm going to study. Today my classmates were reeling from the shock of having so much to catch up on (not the first time they expressed shock). Because there are always new readings to do for next week, but at the same time we don't really understand this week's stuff either. As for me, I was shocked last week but now I'm just getting used to it.

Let me get back to the point about how it's exciting and scary meeting new people. I've been meeting new people all my life (JC, sec school). But this time it's more exciting and scary because I don't see the same people everyday. My classmates for each day's classes are different. So everyday is a different social wavelength, if you get what I mean. Which I like. 

I can't believe it's Week 3 already and I still feel like a really new student. It feels like I started school just a few days ago. My classmates expressed the same idea and said they'd really like to settle down in school quickly, just that the feeling isn't coming. 

Somehow I didn't hear anyone cursing today. Hold on-- somebody did, I cringed, but I let it go more easily. Maybe I'm getting used to it. Actually I'm more fine with it being used in casual conversation, but in class, or when talking about work, I don't like to hear it.

I'm really a little too tired to tired to absorb more contract law stuff. I read and then realize I'm not digesting the words; so I read again and I realized it's actually an easy,  non-convoluted sentence. Time for a break.

Life...now is a bit more hectic. I'm sure 13 weeks (the length of one term) will pass in no time. Now it's week 3 and I don't really feel any closer to any of my acquaintances, maybe closer by a degree or two, but basically not much different from where we started off in week 1. Today I even got the feeling that I'm disliked, not that it's hurting me, but my point is I don't feel exactly homey in this place. But maybe that's because I wasn't in a good mood today, being Monday and being such a long day too.

On the bright side! Everyone else is nice and friendly and will chat with you for free, and pepper you with smiles too. Profs are encouraging and smart. And then they make you feel smart. ;) Food is good.

I think the people I meet are really interesting. It's refreshing meeting new people and finding out that they are so different from you, and so similar in some endearing ways. For e.g. you get the sort of people who think life is a battleground. Nothing wrong with that. They can also be very friendly. But somehow when you're near these people you get the feeling that they are always on the edge of their seats, always ready to rise to the challenge. And they make you want to sit on the edge of your seat too.  E.g. 2-- the smart and quiet kind of person. These people are fascinating. When you talk to them you sense lots of whirring activity going on in their brains and you wish you could just dissect their brains and see what goes on in there. E.g. 3-- the people who like to sit at the back of class and guffaw loudly at anything remotely funny. And they make me laugh too. E.g. 4-- this is me, I like to relax and sit at the back of the class too. But I don't guffaw, I giggle/chuckle/anything that is softer. I'm quite quiet.
There are many more sorts of people, but the first 3 stick in my head the most.

Maybe it's time to go back to my textbook.

It feels slightly disheartening when I find out that the world as I knew it is changing.

For example, the prof told us today that we're adults now and we should be the ones asking questions about our work instead, and not simply accept whatever the prof has to say on the topic. My first thought was, I'm an adult?? Then I realized that I'm 19, that university is where adults go. Second question: what's an adult? Third question: Am I not mature enough? And then I just left it there because the lesson moved on.

Another question: is it just me or do I hear more people swearing? I guess it's part of coming to university and being exposed to more people (particularly people who have gone for NS). But I still find it rather repulsive. 

Away with all these questions, now to address the law-related questions that I had during my criminal law class. D:

The switch from holiday mode to school mode is drastic and can be scary. That's exactly how I felt yesterday, a bit too tired, a bit too overwhelmed by the readings, a bit too un-confident about life. Actually there isn't a huge amount of readings to read, it's probably my time management-- it is mentally exhausting to try to rush through pages of readings only the day before every lesson, for 4 days in a row.
So I set a common goal with a friend to finish our week 3 readings by this weekend (if not all, maybe 80%). It can be a daunting goal but I just need to give myself more time and more trust.
I was thinking on the train today that the most poisonous thing in a person's mind is lack of trust in one's own abilities.
Okay maybe not. There are other things a 100 times worse that could poison a person's mind.
I went for a percussion workshop yesterday (here's their website: http://www.sambamasala.com/) and it was really cool playing all the instruments! And standing in the crowd and playing your own rhythm. :) I want to join them but am a bit hesitant because I don't know if I have enough hours in a week. But on the other hand it's an excellent stress reliever-- I was feeling rather down initially but after the workshop I felt that life is fine and dandy.
And I just finished an ocip interview. One of the interviewers really looks like my cousin; their faces are 99% alike. He just doesn't have my cousin's height. Cool. Is there anyone out there who looks 99% like me? I think it will be strange talking to somebody like that though.
Now is the time to put my finish-week-3-readings goal into action! No wait, first to clear week 2 backlog (just one article left).

My BGS prof said, go out and play! We'll only start getting serious around week 4. Go climb mountains, ride bicycles or whatever they ask you to do. But sadly that's not the case for other modules. I want to try out other things like CCA but I'm worried I might not have enough time. E.g. this percussion group has 3 sessions a week, each time being 3 hours.
But I guess I control my own time and I can make time for whatever I love to do?
If only I had a time bank D:
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Today I feel like a worm and I don't feel like doing anything other than studying or sleeping... When last night I was feeling so hyped up about everything.