(I'm going back on Sunday)
I'm afraid of going back... because I feel like when I go back my new-found freedoms will be taken away from me... I'm not speaking politically-wise, that's a whole new level altogether.
But I always tell myself that freedom is a state of mind-- if you truly want something, no one can take it away from you unless you let them, in which case it is your fault.
So yeah. I think I just need to be able to trust myself to secure my freedoms. I think I ceded too much of it in the past few years.
I'll be starting my internships... then starting school. Which is pretty exciting but in a different way. In HK, it's exciting in a "I'm going off to find myself!" way. Back in SG, it will be exciting in a normal way.
I don't ever want to forget that there's a huge, huge world out there for me to discover; that there are so many funny/weird/screwedup/existential/adventurous/yolo people for me to know; that I can travel by myself to visit my new exchange friends in US/Canada (hopefully we all don't forget each other pleeease); or that I can travel by myself to Europe (hopefully with other friends, anyone actually).
My floormate has a hugeass atlas on her wall, with flags on the countries/cities she has visited, and the words above the atlas read: the world is a book, and if you stay in one place, you only read a page~ It's so lovely to have a map like that.
I'm gonna miss all my friends here and how devil-may-care yet smart they are. Sure they aren't perfect, sure we aren't very close friends, sure i don't think we can ever become very close friends, but we can all have a good time together.
Last time, my definition of friendship was very narrow; I think now it's much broader, and I think I like this change. 

You know, basically, at the minimum, I just don't wanna be that nerd in school who has lost her common sense from too much studying. I find that SMU had that effect on me. It's just so busy sometimes that it eats up parts of you.
I think I did find parts of myself in my 5 months in HK. I feel more whole, and whole is how I wanna stay.

Maybe you find it hard to understand who I am and what I'm really thinking. Sometimes I find it difficult to understand people too, in social situations. My advice is don't try too hard to understand. Just know that when I'm with you people, all I want is to have a good time with you guys. 8)