-webkit-user-select: -khtml-user-select: none; -moz-user-select: -moz-none; -ms-user-select: none; user-select: none;

Saturday, November 30, 2013

“What I miss the most about him is the way he used to lie down next to me at night. Sometimes his arm would stretch along my chest. And I couldn’t move. I even held my breath. But I felt safe, complete and I miss the way he was whistling walking down the street. And every time I do something, I think of what he would say: “It’s cold today.wear a scarf.” But lately, I’ve been forgetting little things. He’s sort of fading and I’m starting to forget him, and it’s like losing him again. So sometimes, I make myself remember every detail of his face. The exact color of his eyes, his lips, his teeth, the texture of his skin, his hair. That was all gone by the time he went. And sometimes. not always but sometimes I can actually see him. It’s as if a cloud moves away and there he is. I could almost touch him. But then the real world rushes in, and he vanishes again. For a while, I did this every morning when the sun was not too bright outside. The sun somehow makes him vanish. Yes, he appears and he disappears, like a sunrise or sunset. Anything so ephemeral. just like our life. We appear and we disappear. And we are so important to some, but we are just passing through.”
- Before Midnight (2013)

I like this. It sounds so matter-of-fact and so real.
And it adds to my apathy. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, cos sometimes you need something to make yourself pull your head out of the clouds.



And here's a lovely, lovely song. :')

Joshifer/Peeniss forever! :D

Thursday, November 28, 2013

AHAHAHAHA OMG I LOVE JOSH SO MUCH. AND JEN LAWRENCE. JOSHIFER!! PEENISS! AND OKAY LIAM TOO
AHAHA


and okay here's where it's from http://yahooentertainment.tumblr.com/post/67500870003/look-out-liam-here-comes-the-tickle-monster
暴风雨再怎么强烈,也不会冲走我的感情,我的自爱和自信心。雨是短暂的,可是我的精神会一直陪伴着我。
Can you imagine how long it took me to write that Chinese sentence...
我是一条河。 而雨水只会给我力量。
Basically, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
And you can decide whether something kills you or not.
The answer is it does not.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

i feel kinda sick of studying. bad, i know, and since i've been slacking by re-reading hunger games and mockingjay and catching fire, and laughing at josh hutcherson and jen lawrence gifs on tumblr, i can't even pity myself the slightest.
so tonight, i won't stop until i'm done with my revision plan. UNNGHHH! but i need to let off some steam first. and some thoughts.

i was reading a friend's blog about how we should travel but not when we are too young. and i do agree. i went to turkey with my aunts and uncle a few years back, and the view was breathtaking, and i enjoyed myself thoroughly. but i think my happiness would have shot through the roof if it was my own money i had been spending. i guess spending your own money on pampering yourself always beats using other people's money to pamper yourself. because you would then truly know what it takes to achieve the happiness you want. the turkey trip came too easily. not that i'm complaining, haha! just... saying.

bazap. on another train of thought. right now, though, i'm not very sure what i'm doing with my life. oh sure, i want to get through with law school. but... why? law was just one of the many paths i picked. when i was 18 i saw many paths branching ahead of me (going overseas included, but too many reasons for not going and after some moping around i gave up on it). and i didn't know which to pick. so i picked the one that looked the shiniest.
i guess right now my main motivation in learning it is, it gives me new takes on life.
but it comes with some frustration so i'm trying to develop lots of discipline there as well.

some questions on my mind; these questions might find their way to you too:
1. do you have a vision in life?
2. is there any meaning in keeping to your vision in life? why don't you just pursue whatever's shiny and go on to earn lots of money from those shiny paths?

when i was 18, i don't think i had any vision for myself. very unromantic of me, but also very true. so in choosing this path i don't think i compromised anything, besides some measure of frivolity, which i'm pretty sure i still have plenty of. ^_^ oh, yes, and my mum's money in paying for school fees too.

i guess the next most important question is, what then? the trick to making choices is just to be random and go with your gut, but what's more important is what you do with that choice you picked. and i haven't figured out what i'm going to do with this path i've picked.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

on the day that you were born
the angels got together
and decided to create a dream come true
so they sprinkled moondust in your hair
and golden starlight in your eyes of blue

:)

this song is dedicated to my crush, sam claflin, but i don't think he has blue eyes; i think they are grey. and he doesn't know i'm dedicating it to him so i'm just doing this for my amusement. wahaha
oh well next time i'll dedicate this song to somebody else and maybe his eyes won't be blue, they'll probably just be black or dark brown.
but maybe he won't be handsome enough for this song. *gives an apathetic shrug*
i know that sounds mean, but. *another apathetic shrug* 

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Music is my drug.
Favourite word to use these days is: jialat liao lah.
Still.
We press on.
15 days.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

sam-claflin-birthday-cover
catching a glimpse of sam claflin's face so I will be motivated to do more accounting stuff.
:3 maybe it will motivate you too :)

Monday, November 18, 2013

SIGH. Sometimes I think if I were working with myself I'd give myself a nice smack on the... arm. Not cheek, ow.
Why? Just discovered a major error I made in an accounting group report. And reported it extremely apologetically to my group. Found out that my group member had already corrected it quietly. Normally I would have corrected it AND told the careless bugger that he/she was wrong. But no I was not told of my mistake, which I regard as extreme tact on my group member's part.
Respect...
SIGH feelings of self-dislike. Sometimes.
\okay let's not be too emotional\
Deactivated my Facebook account because I was abusing it-- looking through newsfeed whenever I got bored with revision, meaning every 10 or 15 minutes at worse, for e.g. when studying accounting, which is easily the loveliest subject on Earth; the pride of the human race; the vitamin pill of capitalism which we seem to be unable to do without.
Okay enough bullshitting...
Human beings don't thrive on food. Yes, they survive on food. But they thrive on passion. I need to maintain that passion. Now I sometimes get random sparks of academic passion, which I thrived on in secondary school and JC.
I know I'm just hitting a temporary low right now.
Just a bit more patience with them numbers here, lady...
Because if you're bored, you're just not curious enough.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
~Albert Camus

Indeed, Mr Camus...
Hmm I guess I'll go read your books after finals.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favour in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings."

~Henry David Thoreau 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

wilful blindness will not work in my favour at all, no it won't... need to open my eyes to the amount of things i do not know...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

jialat siol, just want this week to be over soon
soon
soon
argh
presentation tomorrow afternoon but haven't prepped my script.
image
Citation: http://mysmufeels.tumblr.com/page/5
lol.
jialat siol, seems like there's tension between everyone and i'm like... -__- fml. still, i shouldn't read too much into it since work seems to bring out the tension in everyone...
also the state of my revision is jialat too... maybe I should try reverse psychology and say that my revision is very manageable, no problem at all.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


from http://omgtomhiddleston.tumblr.com/

HEHEHE.

Okay self-motivation time:
"If I walk today, I have to run tomorrow" -- Carles Puyol Saforcada

Monday, November 11, 2013

i quote from some university advice: (you can click HERE to read it if you want)
1. your friends will change. let them.
i've changed and-- i would say-- everyone i've known has changed. and i don't care about it at all. 
cos with all i've seen so far, i've gathered that nice people don't stay nice and horrible people don't stay horrible. i quote a friend and extend her reasoning: if somebody does something that you don't agree with, you don't label the person a 'bad person' and reject the person/shrink into yourself. you try to make sense of things.
when i entered uni i vaguely noticed some sort of gap between my maturity level and the maturity level of the general population around me; i was trusting, immature, naive, possessive. and i wondered why the world could not accommodate my maturity level. Now I try to be aware of that.
also, well, here's also a reminder to take my bitchings with a pinch of salt. i try not to let rumours around me affect my perceptions of (some) people (well, only if i have a favourable personal impression of them). because i know they have a pleasant side and they are human. i've experienced it very clearly with my current project. 

such is the world; change is the only constant. 
one thing that CAN stay constant, though, is the amount of faith you place in yourself. because that is one thing you can control more easily. let that amount of faith be high. 
another thing that CAN stay constant is your sense of self-- know what you want. if you don't know what you want, you're likely to follow the crowd, and you're likely to make decisions and not really know why you've made them, and you're likely to wake up from your life one day when you're in your mid-40s and realize that you've been living in a nightmare all your life. 

update on emoness: not so emo anymore, haha.
shit, prop, shit.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

ooh hello sanity, it's lovely to be back home

i swear this is one of those crazy times

fml

tmd still need to start studying for finals, and the status of my revision is -50%. That's right, negative.

i've severely underestimated the difficulty of lobo. and as for prop, i've never underestimated it, but now i'm totally sure it's in truth 100 times harder than it seems to be now

有苦难言.
Seriously never identified more strongly with this phrase. Maybe I should just give up, and not care if I fail this shit. And now everyone's scared of everyone. -.- Humans are such jokes. Look at all the fks I have to give for this project. I've spent enough of my time, energy and emotions and I don't have any left to spend. It was a mistake creating this group, and a very taxing mistake that I will learn from.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

I think sometimes I act like a bitch.
Sometimes
And bitches don't stay bitches, angels don't stay angels.
That's why previously I said I'm loving life but not really loving it
Today I found out I get uncomfortable whenever my non law friends talk about law and how uhhhh busy or how good it is or what
When they say that I feel they are putting a gulf between me and them when actually I'm striving to destroy that gulf
But okay whatever I don't really care now haha too many irrelevant(?) and irresolvable (definitely) feelings
loving life but not really loving it; what a strange conflict of feelings.
and hating people but not really hating them either.
hating myself but not really hating myself.
omahgad.

*whirlpool of emotions*
*don't talk to me*
*emo kid*

(i hate hashtags so i use asterisks)

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

apparently acting all tough and fierce is not the way to go sometimes.
peace, love, trust and patience... can get you what you want better. sometimes.
sounds cliche, but. SHHH.

Monday, November 4, 2013

only those who are afraid have reason to be nasty. because they are similar to cornered animals, and cornered animals are desperate to get out of their situation.
those with a calm and friendly demeanour do not fear anything
(or so it seems, at least)

i don't want to live in fear. of anything immaterial.
or anger
don't give up
it's normal
be yourself
don't let external factors define who you are
work hard
i wanna say: with every broken bone i swear i lived
happiness is a choice

^ just some random words of advice

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY!!!

so here's a song to decorate my night

Sunday, November 3, 2013

When you see a friend behind a fundraising booth


image

this is honestly damn cute

fml can december come soon

Friday, November 1, 2013

forgot to say that. the more i feel negative about other people, the more i hate myself too. in fact i think if i were working with myself i'd have shoved a pen up my nose by now.
okay i'm exaggerating. but you know what i mean.

so.... peace and love and forgiveness! ^___^

my blog shows that i'm such an un-charming person... bleagh.
Whenever I Set Foot In The Law School:



yeah so. quite an accurate representation of my feelings. not all the time because as you know, feelings are volatile and they change. there are actually days where i feel like mother teresa and i love everyone. but i feel like i'm getting used to being displeased and disturbed and whatever. i actually felt a sense of solidarity when my prof said that day 'singaporeans are so optimistic, but british are just *ughhh*'. he actually made quite a cute sound, lol. but anyway at that moment i just told myself, i'm a british at heart, cos i'm feeling so un-optimistic these days.
i know its affecting my facial expressions and my behaviour because i rarely get high and excited around my friends anymore. unless you're talking about my idols or my other more frivolous interests, which is rare, because who has the time to talk like that in law school? no one cares either.
but i know my feelings are not unfounded cos i don't understand loads of stuff. so... time to get started on work. fff need. to. start. working. damn. hard.

BUT ANYWAY. click here for some advice for law students --> Friends

2 things on my mind right now
a) should i get a 2nd major
b) should i go for an overseas internship in hongkong
for (a) i'm leaning towards yes, for (b) i'm leaning towards no.
hm.