Note: This post starts off sian, but it does end with a more positive note and I do feel better now.

After a lot of dawdling online, I think I shall now write. I’ve been feeling rather low these few days, with a few periods of happiness here and there. Today I was feeling quite upset because:

1) I felt fat (I do not want to become anorexic though, and I won’t o_o) after all the CNY goodies

2) I don’t see myself making friends like many other people have done already.

3) I’m staying at home during CNY with my homework for company

4) I can’t make decisions on a few things about college.

I think I’m a melancholy person by nature, but I also think I’m optimistic. These few days the melancholy has been taking over my moods. I seriously think I should try being more jovial with my new class, because I think it is just my reservations and maybe dark moods that make me walk around like a zombie x). So. I don’t think I should dwell too much on this because it is not possible to psycho myself into moods at will.

Next thing. I’m interested in joining band but I’m not so sure I can handle my time that well. Take this. I need time to sort out my thoughts (even though sometimes I think I sort them out too often, and unnecessarily) every now and then. And I’m not a very organized person. I could change that. But will I do it well enough?

If I don’t join band, I could join HACAS and Mentoring Club.

My brother says that JC is a springboard for ‘better, greater things’. Like scholarships and university. And it’s also because it is so short that we must make use of all the time we have to, say, build up our portfolio and make the most of the rest of our childhoods. Scary thought, I’m growing up! I don’t even feel like an adult. Anyway, what does an adult feel like? I guess most adults are just children at heart with added responsibilities and added stress.

It is not good to keep in mind the desire for more scholarships as I go to school. It makes school life artificial. So I need to learn how to balance between having fun and being achievement-oriented.

I’m such a serious person… Where did my jokes go to?!

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Also, I like economics. Economics is everywhere! :D Shall not elaborate because that would be boring.

While I’m typing this, I can hear Auntie Lucy laughing and saying “so embarrassing!” in a falsetto voice. It’s really irritating but I like it!

Every year my family watches the CNY celebrations on TV and we look out for our own horoscopes. Just listened to mine. It cheered me up a bit because it was optimistic (in fact I think it’s the most optimistic one I’ve heard for a few years already). Of course, how the year turns out depends on my own attitudes and my efforts also. Not to forget lady luck! :D

Meanwhile I'm grateful that I have old friends from 413 to get me by the lonely times :) Okay, not that bad, not loneliness to the emo extent -.-

By the way I think my grammar has been deproving (oops, another mistake) ever since the start of last year’s holidays. But it’s okay, I think I’ve still got the rules of grammar wedged somewhere deep in my brain… *prods head*. Of course you won’t spot any error in my posts (I hope not lol) because I read through them and edit any mistakes I see.

Whatever. I need the toilet. HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! :D And remember, you aren’t supposed to be celebrating V. Day with any significant other half of the opposite sex yet! (A)