A smile says so much. Aesthetically one might not look extremely pleasing, but the smile lights everything up.

(in case you were wondering I'm not gazing starry-eyed at anyone now. I just flipped through some photos. and i had this warm fuzzy feeling. the photos didn't involve me at all btw.)

I feel kinda flabby now. Socially flabby, physically too. But now's not the time to lament about flabbiness; it's the time for urgh. Urgh is 9 days away.

Is a person still who he is, taking all his personalities away? I mean, we all have different personalities, don't we, in front of different people. What's the very core of a person's character? Would we all be very similar if only our cores existed?

Okay bye.

-- hours later--

“There are 10 types of people in the world; those who count in binary, and those who don’t.”

ARGH.

Today I realized that I haven't used my brain for a long long while. I always realize this before an exam.

I also realized that it's already the 3rd week of the holidays even though it feels like the 2nd week.

What an eventful day for my emotions!

I shall end it off with a nice dose of darren criss. :D on youtube, of course.

Now you see, he does not only have style, he also has the voice. :D

Alarm bell going off, it's 12 more daysssss.

So. I have been waiting for this moment ever since the beginning of this year. It is a dramatic moment. (At least for me). It is when I reward myself because nobody else will. It is when I cheer alone at home away from the eyes of anybody else. It is when I announce that...

I have completed the first draft of my IS.

*manic cheering*

Okay, it doesn't really feel like an accomplishment, a lot of it is just dramatization on my part. And also, it kind of sucks. It has a lame conclusion. But I'm not going to stop myself cheering for myself whenever I can.

Now to abandon it and to take a 2nd look at it... maybe a few days later. :)

My thoughts kept drifting today. And they drifted to...

My Post A-level Plans!

Given that I've about 9 or 10 months to myself, there's plenty for me to plan.

Currently I've signed up for an extension of my NUH project (that I did last December), even though a part of me wonders fervently why I've done that when I've no intention at all of entering Medicine. Another part of me replies that things can be done for fun and for the experience, or simply put, because "I just want to". Not everything I do needs to end up as a sparkling gem in my CV. I do hope the latter part of me is right. On the other hand, if it's true that everything I do now should be a sparkling gem on my CV, then I think I'd have nothing to do during my holidays because I still have no clear idea of what my career is going to be. Anyway, it can be quite interesting interviewing patients.

And I just realized that the other people I signed up with are all interested in studying Medicine next time. We probably have different expectations of our attachment, argh. I think I'm going to the slackest in the group, if we go.

Back to the topic. This attachment is only going to take up about 1 to 2 months. So I googled "what should I do during my holidays". (Yes, it's odd asking Google questions. It's like Google is some grand-old Life Advisor.) But lo and behold, this popped up: http://www.onlinevolunteering.org/en/vol/index.html

Sounds kind of interesting. But would they take an 18 year old? Maybe.

Other unformed plans about my holidays include doing some ocip, and having a part time job. An internship sounds rather impossible at the moment. That's about it...

I'm sure I want to go on a vacation first though.

Okay, enough day-dreaming, goodbye.

I'm really quite envious of my brother, who is off climbing Mount Fanzipan in northern Vietnam now, with sightseeing and good food to boot. (Now repeat "good food to boot" in your head. Doesn't it sound wonderful?) I'm not crazy about mountain climbing; in fact, the thing closest to a mountain I've climbed before is probably Bukit Timah Hill during OBS (was it OBS? I forgot). But it's about being away from this place that matters most. If you want to know what Mt Fanzipan could look like, then here you go: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hanoidays/51581952/

It looks like a furry green rug with spots of lint (they are actually the houses).

Right. So why do I feel like going away? Sometimes when I study, I feel like the whole world is imploding and I'm at the centre of it all. It feels really claustrophobic. It doesn't happen all the time, but it has happened twice in the past 3 days already. Today during Chemistry class I felt the urge to go jogging (quite unfathomable to the side of me that idolizes Garfield). Also felt quite bored and the teacher's voice seemed really loud to me.

Sigh.

I do feel better now, after dinner and watching Ai (yes, it's episode 680+ already) and a small dollop of ice-cream.

I guess this horrible feeling could be somewhat avoided if I just stop thinking about how I'm lagging behind my revision schedule and my BT2 grades. I should just focus on the moment and do whatever's sensible. If my sensibility fails me 3 weeks later, then at least it would have been sharpened. I should believe in my sensibility.

And seriously, it's just the first small (what do I call it?) obstacle/hurdle/event I have to go through for this year. I should just chill in a corner. With my notes.

A boy was running from a lion. He ran and ran, but he came to a cliff. He decided to jump down. Halfway down, he managed to break his fall by grabbing hold of a clump of grass. Death was certain both ways-- he couldn't climb back up for the lion was bound to be waiting for him, but he couldn't let go either. Then he noticed there were some strawberries growing on the grass.

"What do you think he should do?"

"Dunno."

"Eat the strawberries."

- Adapted from American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Anyway, I hope I didn't just make you depressed. Here's a song to cheer you up: The girl's voice has this clear and clean-cut quality that I like; it's like ice. Yup stolen from poey's plog.