I'm here 'cos I'm bored to tears. I could: read a book, or iron some clothes. Don't feel like doing either. Suits  season 3 is airing on July 16; 6.5 more days. It's not an awesome show but... it's a smart show that I find quite interesting and relevant.

Helped out for camp yesterday. Found out that one of my classes for next sem has like the whole law school's most talkative/competitive people together --> freaked out. Why? 'cos class part is gonna be a crazy/possibly-entertaining debate. Which I need to be a part of so that I can have my marks. Felt slightly depressed for a while until I scouted around and amassed a few familiar (and possibly less competitive) names who are going to be in that class with me. Great. Felt better after that. In my excitement/panic I spoke to 3 people who are going to be in that class with me--
One of them was next to me and she was freaking out too. And she was considering changing her class. >( Hope she doesn't.
One of the guys in that class was there, so I asked him, and he was like, they class part then class part luh! Neh mind! Donno if male pride at work or he's really chill. Oh well. I could do with some male pride too, to calm my senses.
And the last guy who was there started zoning out when I told him the news and didn't really react. Just 'oh okay' and a vague/bored smile. This one still in holiday mood.
Texted 2 other girls who are gonna be in that class too; one of them freaked out and considered changing class too, but decided against it later; the other said 'haha let's chill at the back together!' Hmm. She's in holiday mood too.

Went for samba after that. Entertaining, because they were thinking of choreography to do for our gig. Some guy suggested doing the dance in Thrift Shop, and he started gyrating and singing 'I've got 20 dollars in my pocket!' LOLOL. But of course no one heeded his advice, we just laughed. Some other guy started gyrating with him. LOL. Anyway speaking of our gig you can come down if you're free...hurhurh... it's free-of-charge!

When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is how it is and you've got to grow up with it. Once you realize that the world around you has been built by people no smarter than you are, you become a different person. 
(Steve Jobs)

Inspiration for tonight is Steve Jobs 'cos yesterday I watched a video with him making a ~20 second guest appearance saying what I typed above. And then SJ went on to say that we should want to make positive changes around us.
I feel quite bored with my life. Everything seems a bit too stagnant... I'm going to start breeding Aedes mosquitoes soon.
I've been sleeping a lot. About 10-11 hours a day. While I really like to sleep, it feels like each day, a bit of my brain is losing its function. :/
I kind of miss work. (Strange, I didn't really enjoy the extremely slow business when I was actually doing it.) At least it kept my brain slightly more active? Quite annoyed at my CIP 'cos they told us to sign up for slots on different days. So I signed up for all, which left me no space for work, so I told the boss I can't work in July (which pissed him off). And now the CIP tells us that 'hey, there are too many people, we'll try to make sure you go for at least one slot. We'll tell you one week before whether you're going or not.' What? Responsible planning much.
Anyway if I were to re-evaluate my life I don't think CIP or work would feature very high on my to-do list. So, meh.
I'm glad I'm still in my CCA. So, CCA features in the #1 category in my to-do list. Sometimes I look back on the times I had some sian thoughts about it, and I see that I've changed a bit. A bit. Other things in my #1 category would be studying. Of course.
I don't know what I'm doing these days that is meaningful. Besides CCA. And family time. What could I do?
And over here my brain finds that it can't respond.
I guess reading would be good.
The Voice UK has ended its 2nd season, Suits hasn't started, and I'm not as obsessed with Pentatonix as I was last week (I still really like them though).
Okay I still have my books.
Also I re-discovered that I have iTunes U on my phone so I downloaded some stuff to read. SJ's quote came from something I downloaded from there.

A lot of people think that they'll study hard, get a decent job, and then save some money and start a family. That's a really constrained life. Life could be so much more. 
- SJ (again)
Yeah I'm gonna have fun after I graduate from university (and during university too).
I need to ... do some research about how to have fun. It's time to poke my head out of the bubble.

Get real

Get real luh. Anger makes you blind to everything else. Makes you a short-sighted frog in a well.
Anyway listening to Passenger's songs right now; really makes me feel more at peace with... everything.
:3 ^_^ :)
It's really crystal clear now who my friends are. Now I know better... not to treat any random person as a friend.

Not worth it

Awesome band!

Coming from almost musically barren Singapore, this is quite an achievement.
Okay maybe our music scene isn't that barren. I just haven't been searching.

And I have stopped being angry and angsty cos............
It just isn't worth it.

But my memory is still as cavernous as ever. It stores things.

I think most people think I don't get angry easily. But now I think I do. I am certainly quite petty if you compare me to other people. I just don't show it. Instead I complain to the people closest to me.

The script

Once again I find myself liking The Script... Because they inspire. I never really took notice of Hall of Fame lyrics till today, and it hit me quite hard.

You could go the distance

You could run the mile

You could walk straight through hell with a smile
...

You could be the hero

You could get the gold

Breaking all the records they thought never could be broke

Do it for your people

Do it for your pride

Never gonna know if you never even try

Basically what I think of these lyrics is... I work hard only for myself and any other cause I deem worthy. I don't work hard for anybody. For anybody, if I can't get out of work, I do only what's required. 

Of course to work hard only for myself is really... Selfish and douchey.

I feel like I've been full of angst these few days... And I don't like it. I don't like angsty people because the line between angst and self-pity/self-entitlement is really thin. I don't want to be a disgusting self-pitying person who thinks the whole world owes her.
So I'll break out of it. 

Maybe there is no point spilling out all my angst here because, let's face it, if I really loved to complain, there's lots to complain about.
Instead why don't I focus on the lovely stuff and just move on and stop puffing up with self-importance like a pufferfish. With all my thorns sticking out and making me look sulky and fierce. And with all my thorns possibly hurting others. Count your blessings.
Life's too short to lay out complaints one by one. If complaints were paper they could probably blanket the whole sky.
Learn how to sort out friends from pseudo-friends.
Family and friends are worth spending time and money on. In fact what you give them and what they give you can never be counted. It just keeps going on.
Pseudo-friends? I've learnt not to expect anything from them. But you can still act like everything is fine with them. You don't sulk at them because it reflects badly on you (people think: 'hey, why so petty?'). Also, you only sulk at people when you expect them to apologize or comfort you. But as I've said I've learnt to expect nothing from pseudo-friends.
Hmm of course some people are born nice and even if they aren't friends they treat others really well, just because they want to. These people are an exception. Or maybe I shall say that these people have higher EQ. But low EQ is not an excuse.
We don't forget. But we could close an eye, or we could ignore it. Forgive? I don't know. Forgiveness sounds too self-righteous. I'll reserve it for the more significant issues.
Most importantly we don't forget. And we also focus on what really matters.
Because how much of what we complain about is really, really important?
Don't forget what you have because of what you don't have.

I like Macklemore's songs/raps. Not too shouty. Has swag.
"Make the money don't let the money make you...Stay true~ stay true~ stay true~"

Stay real. No rose-tinted glasses.
Stay true to yourself.

^ Pissed-off ramblings. Don't judge thanks.

I've contracted Pentatonix-itis. I'm addicted to listening to them. I need to listen to them once a day.

Also I'm feeling kinda disillusioned. But with that I feel more certain about what I'm going to do in future, and I feel it with more conviction.
And there's nothing wrong with being self-righteous and sticking to one's own beliefs. There's nothing wrong with trying to impose them on other people too, if you think they should not be doing what they are doing.
But it's not easy getting through some people's thick, self-important skulls.
Have I tried enough?
Or actually the question is, why should I even try?
I don't feel like trying. All my life I've been taking care of myself, not taking care of other people.
Although I feel like even that is starting to change. It's no longer enough for me just to take care of myself.
I think I need to multiply my willpower by 10.

Angst moment... Please don't ask me what's wrong because I won't say. Because it's nothing much really. It's just part of adulthood, maybe.