Elite

I know I'm supposed to go and bathe and then subject myself to mugging for the lecture tests I have not started studying for yet. And finishing my undone homework. But wait a minute. Actually, wait much more. I wanted to change my msn pm. After reading through it once I thought it too personal for the general crowd.

I have no life. I only have fear. And a faint glimpse of a possibly, hopefully, more fulfilling future.

This is true. The reason why I push myself to do all my homework after a tiring day at school is because I'm afraid to fail the next lecture test. Okay, I shall say this: fail it again. Even more afraid of failing the block test, the promos, oh, and the A levels.

That's why I squint at my homework under heavy eyelids and inch my hand across my worksheet. Trying to finish everything before I go to school, oh, what(?!), before I wake up for school about 5 hours later.

Oh, nothing much, some people say, I'm equally sleep-deficient. Stop whining.

I don't have any reply to this.

I like the subjects I study. I like KI. I like Biology. I, well, like Chemistry. I quiite like Maths.

So you can see my favourite subjects are KI and Bio.

I manage my time well. I judge that by my own standards.

And yes, these standards are not what you would call dismal.

What is my hard work going to reward me with?

No, this is the wrong question to ask.

Instead, how can I turn my hard work into something more meaningful? For myself. Not for my teachers.

I started being slightly disappointed after I found out I got rejected for that summer programme and after that I got emo reading that article called the Disadvantages of an Elite Education.

I'm going to sound quite childish/defensive but I must say that I found that article first. Before it got posted on the school's website.

:)

I like this paragraph...

Some students end up at second-tier schools because they’re exactly like students at Harvard or Yale, only less gifted or driven. But others end up there because they have a more independent spirit. They didn’t get straight A’s because they couldn’t be bothered to give everything in every class. They concentrated on the ones that meant the most to them or on a single strong extracurricular passion or on projects that had nothing to do with school or even with looking good on a college application. Maybe they just sat in their room, reading a lot and writing in their journal. These are the kinds of kids who are likely, once they get to college, to be more interested in the human spirit than in school spirit, and to think about leaving college bearing questions, not resumés.

... and I aspire to be the second type of student.

The student who does not measure success by grades but by his/her own sense of fulfilment.

I can imagine how some people might react if I said to them everything I've said in this post.

Especially my brother.

"Yeah, quit school now, that's what you should do. Go sweep the roads."

(But don't accuse him of being ... I don't know, being such a pragmatist, maybe. He is someone who deserves to be admired.)

And I don't mean any offence to sweepers out there.

Yes, sweepers who drive a cart and let the brushes underneath the cart do the sweeping. Hahah. So high-tech, yah.

Yes, if you don't have time to read this whole post, you can go straight to the 6th last paragraph, or, for those who want to save more time, just go to that sentence coloured in orange and read the paragraph below it. Might be too late to say this though. Heehee.

I'm off to study. Bye.

And I do feel more cheerful now, after throwing such a fit online.

:D

-Five minutes later, after checking SMB-

Might I add that such a post as I've written could only come from less high-achieving students. Yes. Like me.

You don't see students in Olympiads and students with dozens of A1s write such things.

I don't know how to judge myself, already.

See how fickle I am.

I still have that fear in me. And so I should go and study now.

I will work on this in the next few days.