Firstly, I don't understand why I'm blogging so much. But heck.

I'm inspired by the actors in bbjx, especially the older ones (specifically two of them). They seem to have struggled for a long time in the entertainment industry before establishing their reputations and their fanbases. Wu Qilong managed to attend university and film movies at the same time to pay off his family debt, and Kevin Cheng only got his first breakthrough after about 9 years of acting in minor roles. 9 years! That's half of my life.

What I've learnt from them is to pick something I'd really love to do in my life, and focus all my efforts on it so I can succeed in that area. As I've told myself a few days ago, I shouldn't be looking for instant results in my life or career. Anyway, if I dedicate my life to something I like, it probably doesn't matter if I succeed in it or not, because I'd be contented with what I do everyday. And what is success anyway? Becoming famous? Being the head of a company? Success comes in many forms, and what society calls "success" is not the only thing that can bring me happiness.

*inspired* :3

But what do I really love to do? I'm asking myself this question for the nth time now, and I find myself thinking of the social sciences more often than I have. But I still can't say for certain if I would like to do science or social science in future. Meh. Dreams take time to form.

If only I could begin my life after I've decided. That means I'll decide first, and then I'll go back to being a child of 11 or 12 years old. Then I wouldn't waste time on attending more school, I'd just dive straight into learning what I love. (Why do I keep thinking that school was a waste of time? It's not the first time I've thought this way.)

Still, I must comfort myself with the fact that I AM STILL VERY YOUNG, at 19 years old. And there's plenty of time for me to find what I love. I'm too young to panic about my age.

WE ARE YOUNG, WE ARE GOLDEN!!!
(We are not what you think we are!)
inspired by lyrics from Mika's We Are Golden

Here's something I read in the papers a few days ago. I agree with it. The truth hurts...
http://news.insing.com/tabloid/young-s-poreans-lack-the-drive-to-succeed/id-862c3f00
So I hope to be the opposite. A debatable issue (that was highlighted in the papers too): what is drive anyway?
And I'll listen to more old Chinese and Cantonese songs from now on. :)



:D

Before I fangirl brainlessly, I need to say this: I am trying to get a job! But the job agency hasn't found one for me yet. The only thing I can do now is to be a faithful fangirl. :) It's great because I haven't enjoyed such luxury of time in... 2 years. I have no clue how I'm going to occupy myself tomorrow besides waiting for the agency to call.

Bubujingxin is probably the first drama that has occupied my mind for so long. It's probably because I'm so free now, so I can devote myself to analysing the plot and the characters. The cast is good looking, the plot is heart-breaking, the characters are charming, and the songs are touching...

At first I really couldn't understand why she rejected No.8. But now I think I do... I shan't elaborate here because... As much as I would like to sound philosophical about love here, I don't think I can pull it off, and I know I will only sound immature. Please, a teenager discussing love?

I think dramas are good because they puzzle me. Singaporean dramas always end in the happiest possible way, and after growing up on our dramas I think I have developed an opinion on romantic love that is too optimistic to be relevant. It's not true that no matter how many twists and turns there are in the middle, a multitude of coincidences will occur to unite the couple in the end. It's not true that people get together purely because of true love. And it's not true that romantic love has to be expressed through physical contact, which is what some books I've read seem to suggest. (Please don't ask me what I've been reading! You can ask me in private and I'll try to recall.) The unfortunate circumstances in bbjx tear to shreds any idyllic worldview I might have. *awakening*

I've been wanting to read about Chinese history ever since I started watching bbjx, but I haven't. What I have done, actually, is reading up on some of the cast members. ;) I think acting (on television/in theatre) is a really interesting job, because it immerses you in stories. But the fame that sometimes comes with it can restrict one's life. :/
Goodbye, I'm off to do more research on the actors. And Chinese history.

I spent my whole day catching up on bu bu jing xin :) I can't say I'm proud of what I'm doing, but there's one thing I know for sure-- I like this drama!
I just took the personality test again and it says I'm an ENTP.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
(Lyrics of Defying Gravity)


The holidays have changed me, have they? I guess I swap personalities all the time, depending on what I'm doing.

I have something new to fangirl about: Bu bu jing xin! I think what got me fangirling was the scene with the couple :3 And knowing that they won't be together in the end made me quite sad.
Okay the best way to get teens to fangirl your drama is to throw in a sad romance.

I was bumming around at home, and all of a sudden I recalled something that I talked about last time. It was about religion and I realized that what I said was borderline offensive (damage reduced since I was talking about my own religion, so no one could really point the finger at me and accuse me of slander).
And since it could have been rude, I felt a bit scared. For just that moment, I sort of felt like I was in the panopticon (you can click on that)-- I thought there could be a heavenly being checking on what I say everyday.
I'm sure you've had this feeling before, when your mum scolded you for being naughty and ended her lecture by saying that Santa would not visit you ever again.
After pondering over that memory, I came to the conclusion that I must have been so bored that my brain had to throw out a random memory to occupy my thoughts.

My brother just asked me if I've ever wanted to do anything in life but just kept putting it off. It's a tough question and my first reaction was to gape at him but I did have some answers in the end.
1. Learn how to play the guitar
2. Travel ("Where?" "China... And Turkey.")
Uni exchange trips are great too!
3. Volunteer (regular CIP plus OCIP)
4. Be more immersed in the arts and social sciences (I guess this will be during uni)
Now that I'm at it, I have one more!
5. Exercise more (play badminton, go for Hip Hop, etc.)

The grass on the other side is always greener. My mum and brother seem very envious of the lifestyle I have now, which is slacking every day.