Well i've realized that for many things in this world, we actually do have a choice. Sight is a purely empirical and unemotional thing... we perceive many events in the course of our day at work/school, but what we think about these events is within our control. for example, somebody could hurt you. you could choose to beat yourself up and feel upset about it, and curl up in a corner, which is a very human and natural thing to do. but afterwards you could choose to get up and tell yourself that part of living life is choosing to accept it for what it is, and loving it anyway.
what motivated me to write this chunk? i just felt that school was a very unfeeling and competitive place. even the ones who aren't competing are just keeping silent and you don't know what they are thinking. but then i thought of the people around me who see me for who i am and befriend me anyway, and i realized that i do have a choice between feeling tired and feeling contented.
for me, a good way to feeling happy is not caring so much about what i just wrote and just living life my own way while treasuring all the happy moments i have with others.
maybe my secondary school days and jc days were just really happy. i like the memories. missing my childhood.
hovering between jadedness and contentment.