"You don't deserve my tears!" What a dignified, cheerful proclamation. I love it.

oh my god, i am screwed.
but help comes to those who ask for it
and fortune favours the prepared.
just those 2 simple things to do

珍惜眼前一切, 抓紧时间!

omg i'm in love with this voice

School sucks. The people suck. The people are superficial and self-centred. And those who aren't -- those who are fine-- don't seem to want to stay in school any longer than necessary. The work is really difficult. I'm sleep deprived after doing readings but there's still so much to understand.
But I did tell myself that emo-ing excessively isn't going to work.
CRIES.
OKAY I JUST NEED REST.

gah people are making me pissed and i'm smiling to them on the outside. i hate behaving like that. friggin' law school. just make your own decisions, can't you, and if you wanna ask me for advice, you don't say weird things like oh we picked the same, so much competition! and i'm not at the good end of the competition either, my gpa sucks, blah. hope my internship choices are not being copied wholesale. urgh. also, do i look like i'm all-knowing? pfft. i'm flattered if people discuss their choices and doubts with me and ask me questions, but don't take it for granted. rarh. not helping you anymore.
okay if you're reading this, you are not who i'm talking about. don't worry. you don't need to burden yourself with the angsty me.
i need to see the lighter sides of human nature. i've had enough of the insecure, manipulative side.

and i need to stop wasting time angsting.
goodbye.

My new year resolution is stated a few posts below... ('in lieu of school... etcetc')
Anyway right now I will push it a little and I will sound emotional and angsty about my academic performance.
Because I have to chide myself. I just saw the grade distribution. I've always known that I'm somewhere in the 20th percentile, but I've never acknowledged it to myself or anyone... and I'll say it now. \sobs\ I am somewhere in the 20th percentile.
So I better pull up my socks.
Or things will start getting baaaaaaaaad.
And I'm saying this seriously without all the existential wifflewaffle that I used to love to engage in.
It's not that I'm hopeless; I actually do well in certain types of modules... These modules tend to be the fluffier ones... The more freestyle, open-ended ones... Okay, I shall stop comforting myself, stop licking my wounds. The truth remains. I need to change for the better.
And I need to stop thinking about things I can't change. Just-- move on, get a life, improve.

Saw an article called Mentally Strong People: the 13 things they avoid on my newsfeed.
Nubbad. Please read it i.e. click on it. It just seems to resonate with almost everything the world is trying to tell me.
^_^