I feel really impatient today when reading my notes. Sigh. If my notes had a face I'd probably have punched it by now. But luckily it doesn't have a face. D: Can you imagine. Then it will keep telling me to study. T_T
Anyway somebody posted this on facebook and I think it's quite a pleasure to listen to. What it says is not very earth-shaking; it's just a relaxing poetry recital. Sort of gives you the ^_^ feeling.

Now that I've listened to it I don't really feel like punching my notes anymore.



Was surfing through Thoughtcatalog when I saw a tribute to a character called Holly Golightly, from this book called Breakfast at Tiffany's. I need to read this book in summer! :D


And... yesterday C asked me something about the Friend I like. (You know what I'm talking about right?) It's true that I'm not completely over it. But things have definitely changed: I've removed my rose-tinted glasses-- do I really...? And is he really...? I've started looking at other things (how can I not, when there's pages and pages of stuff for me to read and type). But by other things I mean planning for my holiday as well. She asked if I would mind if he became attached (but not to me). I suppose I would mind. I would curse the girl in my head for at least 10 seconds, at most a day or two; unless the girl is my friend, in which case I will gracefully give my blessings, and secretly I will mourn a bit for my love life.
But after all, nobody belongs to anyone (as Holly Golightly apparently said), so no strong feelings, and even if there are strong feelings, they won't be permanent.
We are free.
Meanwhile, we stay in friendzone. Hahahah.

While studying, I was seized by a sudden desire to search something in Google. I typed in 'I feel insecure' in to the search engine.
You can roll your eyes because I feel like doing the same to myself but it would be lame if I approached a mirror and rolled my eyes, because even then I can't see my eyes rolling. Okay that's not the point!
I guess a lot of us are insecure, about this and that, and only a precious few are more secure than others. Even so they must have a little core of insecurity buried deep in them that they don't show.

Some good bits of advice from the first link I clicked:

Embrace “not knowing” – If you are uncertain you are closer to truth than when you fully certain. The mind wants conclusions but life is always open ended. Get comfortable with “not knowing” and most of your insecurities will vanish. Have you noticed that the thing you are most certain about is what lets you down?

Failure is the best thing that will happen to you – Stop judging yourself on the basis of a failure or success. No success ever lasts, neither does failure. Everything in life is just an experience. Feel free to fail miserably, it’s the best growth experience you will ever have. After all, is it not true that success teaches you nothing while failure deepens you.

Read more...

Google is my counsellor. Lol.

If I might share with you one of my privatest thoughts, I think what makes me most insecure is what I think people think of me.

Which I think is quite silly. That's why I googled.

A friend said on another friend's blog that our generation has created a new phase in growing up, called emerging adulthood. I guess it's because we now have so much time to think about who we want to be and many other deep questions about ourselves. I suppose I'm in that phase right now. 

When I was young, everything was certain because everything was taken care of by somebody else, my parents, mostly. 

But now I'm in charge. (mostly)

"Hope that you fall in love
And it hurts so bad
The only way you can know
You gave it all you had
And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain"

"I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
Yeah with every broken bone
I swear I lived"

I wanna be able to say this someday. 

Onerepublic is awesome! Please come to Singapore soon! :D I might be willing to burn a hole in my pocket to see them sing live. If people go with me. 

Too late for regrets
No time for regrets
Ain't nobody got time for anything
But doing revision

I can sleep all I want in summer
Just DON'T SLEEP SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
Stop screwing with your grades.

:(

I wonder if my mummy reads my blog. Because a few weeks ago, I gave her my blog url and she promptly typed it into her iPad and started reading. Then I said, aiya so awkward you're reading my blog! (Cos I don't mind if she reads it when I'm not there) And she said okay lor don't read! And she really didn't read. She wasn't pissed, I checked. o.o

Anyway here's an emo Chinese song that I like. My TWC groupmate was playing it during one of our meetings. Speaking of which I have some TWC work to do...


And I shall return to work...

Nice dessert + dinner with friends! Feels so liberating going out despite having a ton of revision... feels empowering too. Haha. Feeling so energetic right now because of all the chocolate cake I ate.

Hmm and I guess even if people say they think birthdays aren't worth celebrating because they are just another day, secretly they wanna celebrate it too.

And my friends are all fussing about how I touch people. Hey, it's not disturbing :(

It's 9 days to exams.

Life is good... Revision is not so bad when I have good headphones (pokes Cheryl) and a whole lot of indie music on Youtube to stimulate my neurons, which makes me feel so indie and hipster haha. But I also listen to lots of mainstream pop songs. 

Life is good when you know there's some chocolate lava cake waiting for you at the end of the day. 

Okay stop wasting time bye!

Seized by a sudden desire to exercise, so I went out of the house and climbed down and up the stairs 2 times. 9 storeys! 1st time down and up was chicken, nothing much; but after the 2nd time I was really tired.

Time enjoyed is not time wasted.

I think I should sleep less.

Oh I'll go back to revision in a while.

Interesting: is this how The Hobbit was inspired? :D