Well i've realized that for many things in this world, we actually do have a choice. Sight is a purely empirical and unemotional thing... we perceive many events in the course of our day at work/school, but what we think about these events is within our control. for example, somebody could hurt you. you could choose to beat yourself up and feel upset about it, and curl up in a corner, which is a very human and natural thing to do. but afterwards you could choose to get up and tell yourself that part of living life is choosing to accept it for what it is, and loving it anyway.
what motivated me to write this chunk? i just felt that school was a very unfeeling and competitive place. even the ones who aren't competing are just keeping silent and you don't know what they are thinking. but then i thought of the people around me who see me for who i am and befriend me anyway, and i realized that i do have a choice between feeling tired and feeling contented.
for me, a good way to feeling happy is not caring so much about what i just wrote and just living life my own way while treasuring all the happy moments i have with others.
maybe my secondary school days and jc days were just really happy. i like the memories. missing my childhood.
hovering between jadedness and contentment.

Living vicariously through Ed Sheeran. I can totally imagine myself playing a guitar and being transported through one of those London canals. (although I can't play the guitar)
\back to earth

life is just one bigass test
and i'm the bigass student
as well as the bigass tester

I have such a nice prof this sem :>
Partly because she has restored my faith in humanity, I've realized the importance of being less emo and stressed. Without those 2 negative feelings I feel like I'm back in year 1 again. :D

In order to put up your best fight, you need to have loved and lost. And remembered their lessons.

It's amazing how little I know about the world. I'll just try not to judge myself so harshly all the time. And that way I'll also not judge others so harshly.
As they say, we learn from our mistakes... the only mistake is in not getting up after you fall i.e. the greatest mistake is in not learning from your errors.

I've reached the stage in life where I look back at the values I learnt in school as a JC/secondary school and realize that what I learnt was actually meaningful. It wasn't the maths and science concepts that I learnt that were useful, but the values. As I grow up I'm increasingly alone, and it gets easy to lose myself and degenerate into a narrow-minded, self-entitled and lazy youth. It's easy to become skeptical and start thinking that life is one big rat race. But I'm going to look beneath that facade of life, and I'm not going the way of that self-entitled youth. The determination to mould my own life comes from within myself, and the things I need to stay on the path are the values I grew up learning, my own willpower, and some loving from family and friends. :3
I sound so stiff and upright but that's really just one side of me.
Here's a really interesting article: http://time.com/3099152/dont-follow-your-passion/
This is what I would have told my younger self.

I know my greatest fault now. Or at least one of my greatest faults.
I THINK TOO MUCH.
I think I over-think things. I'm going to make a conscious effort to only think about the things that matter now.