I watched 50 shades on valentine's day. The plot wasn't great, the dialogue was predictable, the action was intriguing. *winks* There were some funny moments. The leads were hot. All in all, a good movie experience.
Anyway, I found myself listening to the 50 shades soundtracks all day today. They are really good. Ellie Goulding's song is my favourite. Take away the 50 shades context and it's really a very romantic song. And at night I listened to the bbjx soundtracks. All in all, a sentimental and escapist day. I would like to be exposed to more literature like these.
Of course, I don't support the power dynamics in 50 shades. I wouldn't want a boyfriend like Christian Grey. Take my word for it. He has some very serious ISSUES. The girl has some issues too, but not as severe as his.
What 50 shades and bbjx have in common is one timeless, universal theme-- the woman's search for true love.  So that's why both have so many female fans.
See, Ana is intrigued by her boyfriend's singular tastes. And definitely scared. But she doesn't back down, in fact she tries to accept him and his tastes. (she finds at the end of the 1st book that she can't.) She gambles some of her freedom and dignity for true love.
And bbjx, well. Ruoxi yearns for true love but it's always in conflict with palace politics. Her sister is deeply in love with the dead general and she pines for him 24/7. The end.

So that's why women love these shows. Women are idealistic when it comes to love. They want Mr Perfect, they want romantic dates, they want a boomz marriage proposal, they want cute babies with their cute husband.
But when they come to my age they realize that there is a gap between dreams and reality that can never be bridged. Dreams and reality chase each other round a merry-go-round but they never meet.
And there are many other things that we could and should occupy our lives with. These shows are just us projecting ourselves into an alternate universe, in which we hope that after enough sacrificing, we reach the promised land of true love. In the present universe we live in, we find that there are many other legit promised lands.