Whiling away the time, as I wait for my bedsheets to dry in the laundry room upstairs. Yes I actually changed my bedsheets! Practicing good hygiene even when I'm overseas. :)
Just arrived from Singapore today. Already feeling homesick, and I think its made worse by how sleepy I am. Still, I tell myself that I'm lucky enough (maybe even spoilt) to be allowed to buy an air ticket just to go home to celebrate CNY. And also if all the other exchange students can deal with being away from home for a semester, I can too. I can't imagine how those people on exchange for 1 year deal with it. And there's also tons of people studying full-time overseas. I'm glad that although my JC self was really sorely tempted to study overseas, some modicum of self-awareness in me made me change my mind at the end. Thirdly, I've counted, and there's roughly only 12 weeks left in Hong Kong, which sounds long, but if you lose yourself in it, it could really feel quite fast. Fourthly, I think I will get busy soon so I won't really have time to be homesick, I think. Fifthly, when I think of how I would be like if I hadn't gone for exchange, I think I'd rather be here, in Hong Kong.
Well, 17 minutes left for the dryer to be done, so this is a good time to let my thoughts wander. I'll elaborate on the 5th point. I think pre-exchange, there was a part of me that was maybe a little hollow. You know, the human mind is very complex, and so is the human body. You cannot make it do the same things for a prolonged period of time. That was exactly what I had been doing: studying all day, and just studying law. And yes, I had free time to myself, but even those fun times started to seem monochromatic, after all mental stress I put myself through. I don't think my mental health was at its best in the semesters pre-exchange.
Now, I feel like I've gained an additional perspective on life and the world, which is valuable, and is still changing as I live my life here. I can't put it adequately into words, but I'll do my best. I feel like firstly, I've learnt to be more dreamy, less serious about work and more serious about what I truly like to do. It's important to keep in mind the things you truly like to do, and the things that make you you, because it's what keeps you going everyday. Secondly, I've learnt to appreciate the humdrum everyday things in life, and how lovely my home and Singapore are. It's because over here, I do everything myself, and there's so much more gratification and awareness from doing it myself. And appreciation for how my mum has done it for us all these years. Thirdly, I learnt to balance my negative attitude towards people with a positive one, and I think they come together nicely to produce a well-balanced cynicism. I hope it is well-balanced. Anyway, one always strives to achieve that balance, and one is always learning how to. Fourthly, I've realized that spending too much time inside one's head is not good, so with that, I'll end my post and go collect my laundry.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
I watched 50 shades on valentine's day. The plot wasn't great, the dialogue was predictable, the action was intriguing. *winks* There were some funny moments. The leads were hot. All in all, a good movie experience.
Anyway, I found myself listening to the 50 shades soundtracks all day today. They are really good. Ellie Goulding's song is my favourite. Take away the 50 shades context and it's really a very romantic song. And at night I listened to the bbjx soundtracks. All in all, a sentimental and escapist day. I would like to be exposed to more literature like these.
Of course, I don't support the power dynamics in 50 shades. I wouldn't want a boyfriend like Christian Grey. Take my word for it. He has some very serious ISSUES. The girl has some issues too, but not as severe as his.
What 50 shades and bbjx have in common is one timeless, universal theme-- the woman's search for true love. So that's why both have so many female fans.
See, Ana is intrigued by her boyfriend's singular tastes. And definitely scared. But she doesn't back down, in fact she tries to accept him and his tastes. (she finds at the end of the 1st book that she can't.) She gambles some of her freedom and dignity for true love.
And bbjx, well. Ruoxi yearns for true love but it's always in conflict with palace politics. Her sister is deeply in love with the dead general and she pines for him 24/7. The end.
So that's why women love these shows. Women are idealistic when it comes to love. They want Mr Perfect, they want romantic dates, they want a boomz marriage proposal, they want cute babies with their cute husband.
But when they come to my age they realize that there is a gap between dreams and reality that can never be bridged. Dreams and reality chase each other round a merry-go-round but they never meet.
And there are many other things that we could and should occupy our lives with. These shows are just us projecting ourselves into an alternate universe, in which we hope that after enough sacrificing, we reach the promised land of true love. In the present universe we live in, we find that there are many other legit promised lands.
Anyway, I found myself listening to the 50 shades soundtracks all day today. They are really good. Ellie Goulding's song is my favourite. Take away the 50 shades context and it's really a very romantic song. And at night I listened to the bbjx soundtracks. All in all, a sentimental and escapist day. I would like to be exposed to more literature like these.
Of course, I don't support the power dynamics in 50 shades. I wouldn't want a boyfriend like Christian Grey. Take my word for it. He has some very serious ISSUES. The girl has some issues too, but not as severe as his.
What 50 shades and bbjx have in common is one timeless, universal theme-- the woman's search for true love. So that's why both have so many female fans.
See, Ana is intrigued by her boyfriend's singular tastes. And definitely scared. But she doesn't back down, in fact she tries to accept him and his tastes. (she finds at the end of the 1st book that she can't.) She gambles some of her freedom and dignity for true love.
And bbjx, well. Ruoxi yearns for true love but it's always in conflict with palace politics. Her sister is deeply in love with the dead general and she pines for him 24/7. The end.
So that's why women love these shows. Women are idealistic when it comes to love. They want Mr Perfect, they want romantic dates, they want a boomz marriage proposal, they want cute babies with their cute husband.
But when they come to my age they realize that there is a gap between dreams and reality that can never be bridged. Dreams and reality chase each other round a merry-go-round but they never meet.
And there are many other things that we could and should occupy our lives with. These shows are just us projecting ourselves into an alternate universe, in which we hope that after enough sacrificing, we reach the promised land of true love. In the present universe we live in, we find that there are many other legit promised lands.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Today in class the prof told us to finalize our groupings and choose our topics. (for an ungraded presentation) I only had 1 other girl in my group, but the prof wanted 3-4 people. So during the break I turned to the group of people nearest to me, who turned out to be locals, and asked if they knew anyone without a group, because I needed 1 more person. They were rather awkward and said that they didn't, and I said okay, and there's a lot of people missing from class today so I can't really know either!
And then one of them said that he wouldn't mind leaving his group and joining us! I was really surprised. Because where I come from, people generally shun exchange students. At least, I try to shun them. Because everyone says that they don't do work. Not 100% true, from my experience, but better to be safe because project work sucks enough already, and you don't want an additional burden. And forming groups back at my school has almost always felt very politicky and sucky. I thought I would be treated the same here, and I didn't think I would find a group that easily. Because the prof did say that if it was a good presentation, he would raise our grades if we were near the cut-off mark. So there are still some stakes involved. I was already pleased enough when last week the girl in my group asked me to team up with her (but she's not a local so it's a different context).
I was really pleasantly surprised and thanked him. But maybe he wouldn't be that nice if it was a graded presentation.
The purpose of this post is to celebrate nice random things that happen. And tell myself to be a better person when I get back home and begin my final year in school. Anyway, why should we pick on the small stuff? When life is so short and there are so many other things worthy of contemplation. It does reflect on a person's personality, when a person has negative thoughts like that.
And then one of them said that he wouldn't mind leaving his group and joining us! I was really surprised. Because where I come from, people generally shun exchange students. At least, I try to shun them. Because everyone says that they don't do work. Not 100% true, from my experience, but better to be safe because project work sucks enough already, and you don't want an additional burden. And forming groups back at my school has almost always felt very politicky and sucky. I thought I would be treated the same here, and I didn't think I would find a group that easily. Because the prof did say that if it was a good presentation, he would raise our grades if we were near the cut-off mark. So there are still some stakes involved. I was already pleased enough when last week the girl in my group asked me to team up with her (but she's not a local so it's a different context).
I was really pleasantly surprised and thanked him. But maybe he wouldn't be that nice if it was a graded presentation.
The purpose of this post is to celebrate nice random things that happen. And tell myself to be a better person when I get back home and begin my final year in school. Anyway, why should we pick on the small stuff? When life is so short and there are so many other things worthy of contemplation. It does reflect on a person's personality, when a person has negative thoughts like that.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
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