There's a difference between backing out because you found the going tough and did not have the stomach to go through it, and backing out because you don't find any meaning in it. It's a fine line but I think it makes a world of difference.

So there's no link at all but I still remember this Sing China contestant. He's from a minority race in China and he told the judges that he wanted to find his "true self" in this competition. He said he felt lost in a big city, where everyone was buffeted around by temptations and desires. (my translation makes it sound very cheesy but it sounds much better in Chinese). I like what he said... A lot of times I find myself wanting something. And then I pause: do I want it because (for e.g.) everyone is doing it? Or am I just being escapist? ...Or do I want it because it really has some meaning to me? Words to live by.

Is the difference between adolescence and maturity a matter of learning how to keep your emotions and expectations in check? Realising that while you may hold some strong, time-tested opinions of your own, the vast world beyond may not share the same beliefs? Let's leave aside the vast world, not even friends and family necessarily share the same opinions. Rhetorical, so I've already answered the questions with a yes.
There are two sources of inspiration for this. The first is Brexit-- so many people riding on high horses, so many unwilling to consider views other than their own. The liberal lefts are relentlessly insulting, deriding and shaming those who voted for leave. Meanwhile the conservative rights (some) are childishly bullying immigrants in public. It's very easy, when reading posts on social media, to fix your mindset and pledge unyielding allegiance to one side. For young Singaporeans like me, it is often difficult to resist the lure of the liberal left. Because SG itself is pretty liberal in some ways. But  we need to realise that the reality is bigger than that. I believe some people voted leave because they truly believed in it, and made a well-informed choice. Let's leave aside those who now claim ignorance. Come on, don't insult the intelligence of roughly 50% of the voters. So anyway, I feel that while the remain stance is valid, some of them are trumpeting their views in a very childish and obstinate manner. There are often many appropriate answers to the same question.

Another source is, well, myself. Self-explanatory.

If you cling obstinately to an opinion, you would find many negative things and you would view the world in a very disagreeable light. And you would be very disagreeable yourself. But the reality is much more than that. So why not acknowledge it and go get a life. Easier said than done. But doable.

I think my favourite U course is the Shakespeare course that I took in my penultimate semester. Ha, not a law course!
Anyway, there's a speech from Macbeth that I really like. It's on the surface a very dark and sad quote. But if you go deeper you notice there's a lot of guidance you can derive from it.

Macbeth:
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Because Macbeth says this when he's lost everything except his own life, the speech is taken to signify his immense regret at the way he's lived his life. It's a realization that he's strayed so far away from his honour and his original ideals. So yes, please stick to your ideals, i.e. what makes you, you. 

And the "sound and fury that signifies nothing": I think it's trying to say that emotional temperance is the way to go. Extremes-- greed, depression, lust, ambition, etc. are all intense emotions but what belies them is actually a sort of hollowness. These emotions are built on false premises. 

Sometimes it's hard to find that sort of golden mean of your emotions, i.e. that state of mind that allows you to achieve that emotional temperance. Humans are humans, at many points they do experience those intense emotions. But I think that emotional temperance is a coming-of-age process. People may come of age at different stages of their life, but first there is the teenagehood to adulthood transition, i.e. the 20s. 

And Macbeth lost his temperance, because of his foolish ambition, so he ended up like he did. i.e. dead and depressed. He only realized at the end that he had built his life on false premises and it was all tumbling around him at that point.

So I think, life is to be lived moderately. It's not always rarh-rarh. It does not always progress in a straight line, it could eddy about in circles, it could bring you back to square 1. You don't have to overreach yourself to attain some highfalutin lofty goal. 

The meaning of life, if any, is not apparent to us. E.g. Steve Jobs, in a commencement speech I think, mentioned that his life didn't make sense when he was younger, but when he grew older he realized that all the dots were connected and they brought him to where he was that day. So it's only at a certain very mature age that you realize that hey, I can kinda spot some meaning in my life, if I look at it in a particular way. And that can only come with accumulation of life experience and the passing of time. And lots of alcohol. 

So when you're young, like I am, don't try to find any meaning in life. You'll go nuts. Just. Live. It. If I could draw an analogy, what I mean is, remember that teambuilding game where you're blindfolded and you have to go through an obstacle course, relying on nothing but your sense of touch and your team's instructions? Like, go left! crawl! step over this! I think life should be lived like that. The instructions, well, they come from your brain and heart. And the blindfold represents that hurdle between yourself and eventual comprehension. 

Feels like I've digressed. But yeah, my point is, don't stray from yourself, don't try to find meaning in your life, and enjoy the ride. 

Okay. Just saying all this because I've thought of this speech frequently enough to have to write about it now. It's a very beautiful speech. 

Signing off as--

a bored millennial who has time to bum around

I just watched a video starring Idris Elba. It's an advert. Anyway, he asks old people and middle-aged people, what do you wanna be when you grow up? And their responses are funny-- they burst out laughing or they stare at him goggle-eyed.
And he says, smugly, you realize you haven't stopped growing, right?
And they're like, ooooooooooooh yeah... Somebody explained that, when you get to a certain age, you think that if you haven't done something, it's unlikely that you'll be able to do it the rest of your life, because real life.

I like it. It's inspirational. In a way, it's very typical of the millennial generation who don't have typical material goals that their parents had. Millennials find it hard to grow up-- I read it in an article somewhere. Millennials don't believe in holding down a job for 40 years to support their family. Well, a few do have such a dream. But I don't. I can't bring myself to be committed to a career for the next decade, much less 40 years. Maybe not even 5 years. 2 years sounds like a more realistic goal for me.

1. I'm not desperately trying to start a family. Falling in love is the first step, and that already sounds like a fantasy to me. Anyway, I don't need a steady cash flow for that. I mean, falling in love... I just think it's hard to imagine another love that could be as unconditional as the family love I currently enjoy.
(Perhaps I'm being very idealistic. After all, a lot of people do have this notion of a transactional type of love, without even knowing it themselves. On the extreme end of the spectrum is the marriage of convenience, so a transactional love is something like that, but to a lesser degree.)

2. I'm all for building a life, for myself, that has meaning. We know that the Singaporean 5Cs dream became outdated a long time ago. (Or do we?) I'm fine as I am without them.
So if this career doesn't work out, I'd see it as an adventure for me to venture in another direction. Something that has less prestige is fine. How could you measure your life with prestige? I can't. It could be a job in a publishing house.
And if Idris Elba were to ask me that question, I think I'd say I want to experience much more of the world-- in terms of geography, in terms of human nature, in terms of culture. I don't know how I can achieve that. But it's good to keep it in mind as an indicator of sorts. It sounds very vague, idealistic, hipsterish, selfish, and vain, and more realistic people would be rolling their eyes if I told them this. Well go ahead, your eyes are yours to roll.
I mean it's to each his own. I personally observe that people with material wealth aren't necessarily happy. And yeah, money can't buy you happiness but you can't be happy without money, yeah I know that as well. But you don't have to be a millionaire to be happy right?

Imagine somebody tells you something mind-shattering
And you realise that you've been living life wrong
#life
#breakoutofyourmind
#cantconcentrateonrevision

I'm totally against preaching my worldview. So I'm writing this to myself, as a mental note.
The trouble with doing things primarily for the money you earn or the prestige that comes with it is that your life becomes rather empty after a while. Say several years, a decade, or more, but it will feel empty eventually.
Everyone knows that the standard of living here can be high. (keywords: can be) Many feel the desire to earn more so that they come across as more successful, more reliable, etc. But to use that as the main justification for the way you live your life... it sounds convincing at first, but when you think about it again, you may start to feel a kind of hardness forming in your heart. That is the feeling you get from squeezing all your life's goals, childhood dreams, unfulfilled desires, into one narrow path called the career ladder.
If you've got a bread-and-butter job, count yourself lucky. Lead a simple life and don't pretend to be rich by hankering after great food, great holidays, and so on. Most of the older generation i.e. our parents and grandparents understood this.
Everyone sees life through different lenses. I've just presented life through my lens. Pick a lens that suits your worldview the most and be contented.

We always have choices.
We just need to open our mind to it.
^_^