I'm going to be a hermit. >(

This post is just blogger diarrhea.
Haiz feeling quite overwhelmed now with all the things I have to do. I've been making mental notes all day to do things that are behind time, but I haven't jotted them down, so now I just have this feeling of having lots of things to do but not a clear idea of what to do.
It's all I can do to stop myself from going to sleep. I don't even feel like packing stuff for swimming or wtv lesson tomorrow.
I guess the best plan for now is to do something now at least and do up a plan tomorrow.
Gilbert O' Sullivan looked so carefree hammering away at the piano and singing, but how much pain did he experience and how much hard work did he put in just to make it to that stage?
No idea where I want to study for university. My mum says I should go to NUS because I can't take care of myself overseas, given the way I whine (when she's around). But I guess I shouldn't limit myself and I shall take a quick glance at all the possible UK universities and NUS collectively tomorrow/saturday and come up with a Grand Plan of World Domination. >< right.
I think school should stop NOW and we should all stay at home and do our own revision through e-learning and consults can then be booked with teachers on our own initiative. Roar. No one listens to the Supreme-Ruler-of-the-Universe-wannabe.
Sigh so crazy bye.
Oh yeah my brother came home just now and started manhandling me (more or less) and I wondered how I could have missed him yesterday. Haiz. He says he hasn't played with me for a long while. I guess that's how you feel with siblings. You get manhandled by them but miss them when they aren't around to manhandle you. How cheap.
I guess insanity is really the best response to many things in this world. I don't know. Insanity as in, weird things you do when you try to indulge yourself in escapism. You can't take the long struggle, so you just do weird things to keep your mind from wandering, so you can continue doing what you're supposed to do. Haiz.
Decided to end this post on a positive note, so:

From http://celebmancrushblog.files.wordpress.com. Yeah.
So kewt. :3

As I opened blogger I realized I need to plan my time more so that I don't end up sitting in front of the laptop for the whole night, like I did yesterday (although I was doing something legit; but still it wasn't worth 4 hours)

I really like the voice of the lead singer of Keane, it's so wispy. But where has the band disappeared to?


Silence does not mean reproach. Silence does not mean indifference. Rather, silence is tiredness. It means anger which has simmered over-- the person doesn't feel this anger is worth expressing and she'd rather let it evaporate with time. In this silence, you can't help but feel a tiny bit insecure, but it's a good way for you to reflect and recollect your consciousness (Where has my brain gone to?). It makes you realize that so many of the words you utter every day are so worthless.

I kind of miss my brother, he's so busy he's hardly home. But I guess he's experiencing a sort of freedom -- he's doing what he likes. With a catch: it takes at least 15 hours everyday.

For me, silence is freedom. At least for today.

Some people talk and talk
and never say a thing.
Some people look at you
and birds begin to sing.
Some people laugh and laugh
and yet you want to cry.
Some people touch your hand
and music fills the sky.

Poems can be read over and over again but their value doesn't ever diminish.

Sometimes I think I project my personality onto others. I project my flaws onto others, so I see them in a bad light. But at least I've realized this, so I should be more objective next time!
I realize I like to spam songs here. Here's a classic, old song. :)

Oh my, I thought I was finishing but I came home and realized I still have about 1/3 left. !@#$
Also, this is a wonderful song! Why did I stop listening to his songs for so long? :3

"Don't regret."
Will you regret in future what you're doing now? O:

Education (Mine)

I think I've got some personal thoughts about that letter. Short ones.

My first thought was, hey, that was exactly how I felt in Sec 3 and 4. I do remember blogging about how I felt like a product in a factory, something along this line. Especially during Chinese-- I didn't like writing expositions because there was such a tight structure to follow. It kind of killed my interest in Chinese. Not sure if this is an excuse for my dropping Chinese abilities, but it's still true in some ways.

CME lessons were a huge bore. The teacher's face showed that she felt that same way too.

I've learnt to memorize chunks of information (in secondary school)-- during IH, during Biology. But during Lang. Arts and Math I think I relied more on my powers of reasoning more. In JC I realized vaguely that that was meaningless. Now, however, I still revert back to the old method of memorizing-- uses less energy but it's not so effective in the long run.
I remember how, one day, during a certain consult, our teacher emphasized painstakingly to us that we had to think, take time to think even during an exam. He said we have better brains than we think we do and we should not regurgitate content. It sounded almost like he was begging us to think, the way he said it.

I think I was attracted to KI because I felt it would help me question ideas more, and not just accept any knowledge I was fed with. And it did, I think it's the most meaningful subject I study now. It's not practical-- Biology and Chemistry would be practical-- but that hardly matters. The founders of KI, the teachers of KI-- they are my heroes. I think I'd be a more disturbed individual than I am today if there hadn't been any KI in my life.

My brain jams when I think of KI. Now all I can think of is RACING AGAINST TIME OMG!